Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

TOEFL: In twenty years cars will be gradually exchanged into other transportation systems

Smile_Jen 2 / 4 2  
Oct 8, 2014   #1
In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

The way of life can change every time that which depend on various factors. Most people agree that it should be change if it is good thing for their life such as choosing more diet food or using shopping bag rather than plastic bag. In the same way, if all people have more comfortable transportation systems than car, I strongly believe that there will be fewer cars in next twenty years.

To begin with, moving forward of advanced technology bring about the development of rail system and infrastructures supporting the expansion of mass transportation system. the expansion will cover all parts of my country including sky train, subway and metro-bus.. Citizens who live in crowed communities and a distant area such as the borderland and a valley can use this mass transportation rather than private car. As results, every passenger avoids too wasting time on road because of faster than driving private car along road. Absolutely, everyone will be happy and comfortable to go to everywhere which they want because you do not need to find a park for your car in a rush hour and also wake up early in the morning. Therefore a number of cars on the road will be reduced, if having mass transportation system covers and excesses all area of the country.

Another reason is that trends of fossil fuels' price will be higher in the future due to rare resources. The fossil fuel such as diesel and gasoline is the main source of vehicles' fuel. When prices of them are more expensive, it shows that you have more expenses involving your car, besides maintenance cost and insurance cost. It affects to higher your total cost of living. I strongly believe that person who wants to have a car indicate that they want to be comfortable in life more than handle more expenses. That reason possibly affect to most people do not buy private cars.

In a nutshell, advanced of mass transportations system and higher cost of fuel in the future will be crucial factors for changing using cars to other transportation systems. It is really considerate condition in the future.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 8, 2014   #2
Jen, the sentiments that you tried to convey within your essay are very good. You only have a problem expressing yourself in the grammatically correct English form. So let me help you with that :-) I'll revise your essay and mark my version of your paragraph in blue. This will serve as your sample statement to refer to while improving your version.

- Our way of life is constantly changing due to various factors. Normally, these changes are for the better and result in a more relaxed and efficient way of life. While cars serve as the most relaxed mode of transportation for us at the moment, that just might change in the future. I believe that road infrastructure projects and technologically improved mass transit systems seem to be pointing to a time twenty years from now when cars will no longer be as popular as a mode of transport as they are today.

- Rapid technological advancement have given us super trains and hanging railways, all of which are designed to speed up mass transit travel to almost the speed of light. Metro buses are becoming more and more environmentally friendly and are now able to carry more passengers than before. Riding the bus will, in the future, be almost as comfortable as riding a car. Since mass transit will then be a faster mode of transport than cars, I expect that people will flock to public transit for the speed and relaxed travel that it offers.

- Our reliance on fossil fuels has jacked up the price of fuel to sky high prices, in 20 years, the cost may have become atmospheric already. We are also on track to run out of fossil fuels due to its being a natural and hard to renew resource. As such, the automotive and scientific world are constantly trying to develop newer and better ways for people to get around. With their concentration on mass transit, worries about rising gas prices and lack of fuel will soon be a thing of the past.

- Looking towards the future, it is suffice to say that the easing of car use in 20 years is well on its way with the new infrastructure and modernized mass transit systems being developed. So I firmly believe that fewer cars will be used in the future.

Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: In twenty years cars will be gradually exchanged into other transportation systems