Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


TOEFL essay:Twenty years from now, people will have more leisure time than we do


ahhajuly 2 / 4  
Apr 22, 2010   #1
Twenty years from now, will people have more leisure time than we do now? I really don't think so. And I've got two powerful reasons to support my point.

Firstly, the young generation is required to be more efficient and effective by modern society. Most of the youths want to have better ability to plan and organize. But one may ask: why is this so? I think the fact is these kind of skills will be really helpful for us to live a life successfully. Just like American Ex-president Franklin Roosevelt said: No country, however rich, can afford the waste of its human resources. And many businessmen get used to listing a schedule for arranging their time reasonably. What are listed on the schedule? May be work time, business trip, business dinner time, online time, newspaper and instant coffee time, laundry time, gym time, (gardening time, kids pick-up time, ) probably psychological counseling time as well. What a living machine! Perhaps there are not always a place to add a reading time or a family time on it. If we think carefully, we'll recognize that people are living under increasingly pressures now, although our home and work place are well equipped with modern appliances.

In addition, nowadays our world is facing the challenge of population ageing. The population of new births is reducing, the shortage of young people will cause a series of social and economic problems. Take China for example, the population in China has been strictly controlled in last two decades by the Only Child Policy, the following consequent is very serious. Several years later, a middle-aged couple in China will not only need to feed their own kid, but also have to take care of four aged parents at the same time. Because they don't have any brothers or sisters to lend a hand, it will be a big challenge to this family.

What's more, the serious aging problem not just has influence on individual families. As we all know, China is famous by her cheap labor, but now the world's factory faces the same problem. Although the population in China is still the highest in the world, with the working-age population decreasing, the labor costs will become less competitive, thousands of labor-intensive industries will suffer a cold winter. How to solve this problem? The best answer is still unknown. However, some Chinese experts suggest putting off retirement age to cope with it, and so far it seems like a realistic solution. It means 20 years later, people will work three or five years longer than now before their retirements, will they be pleased about that? It's hard to say. In any case, people will hardly have more leisure time than we do now.

To sum up, under the coupling effects of the rapidly developed economy and population aging, it is evident that people will hardly have more free time in the future.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------
Hello, everyone~~~
It is my first essay, and I cannot figure out the 3rd reason to support my point, so I say 2 powerful reasons... It's embarrassed. ^_^

And I got a question about the worlds "ageing" and "aging", what's the difference between them?
Thanks!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 23, 2010   #2
the 3rd reason to support my point, so I say 2 powerful reasons... It's embarrassed

Some of the best essays make 2 important points! So, it's okay.

However, if you want to make another point, you can talk about democratization. As countries democratize, freedom is upheld and increased, and that makes people free to compete against one another (i.e. capitalism). When people have to compete, it is a busy way to be.

:-)
OP ahhajuly 2 / 4  
Apr 24, 2010   #3
Wow, brilliant. How can you figure it out? Competition is really a good point.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 25, 2010   #4
Great! It's hard to explain, though. With more freedom, we may become busier, because we have more competition. But with more freedom, we can also become less busy. It is an interesting idea to discuss.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay:Twenty years from now, people will have more leisure time than we do
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳