Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The two diagrams given show the whole process of cement making and concrete production



Shiny Star 1 / 1  
Oct 4, 2020   #1
Hello, Please go through this IELTS task 1 report and give your valuable suggestions where does it needs correction (content/ grammar / vocabulary etc)

Academic IELTS task 1 report



The two diagrams given, show the whole process of cement making and concrete production. Overall the cement making process involves several steps (crushing, mixing heating and grinding) to make cement from limestone and clay. Whereas concrete making process just involves the mixing of various elements (cement, sand, gravel and water) in a proper portion to be mixed well to make concrete.

In cement production, limestone and clay are crushed together initially through a machine called crusher. The powdered form of the elements are then mixed together well through mixer and is heated in a rotating heater at a fixed temperature. The heated powder is then finally grinded into a fine and smooth powder form. The prepared cement is then packed in bags.

On the other hand, concrete making is a simple procedure of mixing 15% cement, 25% sand, 50% gravel (also called small stones) and 10% water. All the items are mixed well together, for an appropriate time, in a concrete mixer.





Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15238  
Oct 5, 2020   #2
You are analyzing two different images in relation to two different productions processes. So rather than saying "cement making and concrete production", refer instead to, "... show the comparative process of cement making concrete production." Good work in the overview statement. You show a wide range of GRA skills from beginning to end in that paragraph and throughout the essay.

There are situations when you need to use an indefinite article in the presentations. For example, your reference to; "... machine called A crusher." This is a repeated error throughout your presentation. Kindly review the rules regarding when and how to use indefinite articles to prevent a repeat of this error in the future. Oh, one other thing, the word is "ground" not "grinded."That is an LR error. There is no such term.

As for concrete making, you need another sentence, at least, to achieve the required 3-5 sentence presentation per paragraph. Avoid the use of long sentences. That could force GRA errors on your part.
OP Shiny Star 1 / 1  
Oct 5, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for your valuable suggestions, I will surely look into them.


Home / Writing Feedback / The two diagrams given show the whole process of cement making and concrete production
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳