@HoltHi. I've just rewritten the essay. I try to develop my own style after carefully reading your model answer. An image has been added here for convenience. Please feel free to give me advice. I try to improve my English proficiency by keeping writing.
Two maps illustrate an island that has been developed for tourism. Significant differences can be found between before and after the development. In this essay, I will summarize all these changes to provide an insightful comparison.
Overall, the island presented for analysis is a tiny patch of land rising up the surface, about 250 meters in length and 100 meters in width. It used to be a solitary area with small pockets of greenery. Yet now, with the addition of assorted amenities, it has been converted to a tourist attraction.
Before the tourism project, there was no service facility, nor was the beach at the western tip developed. Visitors could not even reach the island that did not have any landing stage for boats. Apart from the sparse palm trees scattered in the east and west, it was utterly destitute of vegetation.
However, the landscape has undergone tremendous transformation as a diverse range of structures and transport routes are constructed. Around 100 meters from the western end is built a pier to greet boats of tourists. They go ashore here before taking a ride up the vehicle track to the reception where they check in.
When the process is finished, they will be driven to the restaurant in the north for dinner or walk to huts at each side to have a rest. The accommodation units form two rings, each well-connected with footpaths that also link the beach, where the water area has become a swimming space. It is worth to mention that the palm trees are not cut down to make way for the development, since the maps demonstrate they remain intact.Notes: comparing the maps, I see the trees are unchanged. An observation might differs from your model answer.