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Writing Task 1 - the transformation about the road which leads to the City Hospital


nhilyy 1 / -  
Jul 27, 2021   #1

road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010



The pictures above provide information about the transformation of the way which approaches the City Hospital from 2007 to 2010. Overall, the whole road has witnessed significant changes which were most noticeable being the separation of the car park between staff and public and the appearance of roundabouts.

According to the maps, in 2007, there were many bus stops stretched on both sides of The Hospital Road combined into the large bus station located to the southwest of the City Hospital in 2010. Apart from Ring Road wasn't changed, both two roads such as Hospital and City improved considerably with two new roundabouts. It's worth noticing that the area where the car park for staff and public in 2007 converted into the staff's parking. Besides, the public car park relocated and connected with the City Hospital in the east.

In short, the way to get to a hospital developed with some additional features over three years as around-turns, bus station, and a public car park.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Jul 27, 2021   #2
The explanation is difficult to follow. The writer does not successfully inform the reader as to how the place looked in 2007, then in 2010. The description should have used 2 clearly separated ( by year) paragraphs. Describe the original in the first paragraph, avoiding any references to changes first. The changes comparison may be inserted into the 2010 paragraph instead since the requirement for that paragraph is based on an image comparison presentation.

Comparison image reports rely on the clarity and seperation of discussions. The writer tried to rush through the report by compressing as much comparisons as he could into every paragraph. Confusing descriptions and grammar problems created severe scoring deductions. Not everything in a task 1 essay can be presented in short form. Make an effort to limit scoring deductions.


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