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The two pie charts shows the comparison of the percentage of homes owned and rented in the UK

DiepVu99 10 / 21 9  
Aug 20, 2020   #1
Please feel free to comment your opinions and help me improve my score!
Thanks a lot.

The pie charts below show the percentage of housing owned and rented in the UK in 1991 and 2007.

Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

The two pie charts given illustrates the comparison of the percentage of housing owned and rented in the UK between 2007 and 1991.
In general, in both of the years, the home owner took the main part from the total number in 1991 and 2007: 22 million and 27 million homes respectively. Moreover, other types such as social renting, private renting, and social housing were also reported significantly.

In 1991, the home owner just accounted for over a half but then the number increased to nearly 75% in 2007. Actually, this type was the most popular over the period. Nevertheless, social housing had the smallest usage with about 15%. In 2007, the number even had a downtrend to one-third.

Besides, private renting and social renting kept a stable speed in declination and expansion. In 1991, the percentage of social renting was a quarter, however, had a dramatic fall to nearly 20% over the period. In contrast, the number of private renting slightly increased while it started at under 20% and then to 25% in 2007.

Kitty810 1 / 2  
Aug 20, 2020   #2
I think you may lack a conclusion to summary the information in pie charts and that may affect your marks of task achievement.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691  
Aug 20, 2020   #3
Your report tends to lose its academic tone when you use the words actually, nevertheless, and besides. Avoid the use of these and other similar word fillers. Always be straight to the point. State the facts as you see it. There is no need to use words to excuse what you need to say. Just say it. You should keep the academic and assured tone throughout your essay. Know when to use the preceding words and when not to. In this case, you should not use those at all in the presentation. Those words remove the focus of the reader from the information you are presenting. So keep it straightforward. Just the facts please, no unnecessary word usage.

Save for that simple observation of your work and some conciseness issues, I have to say that this is one of the better presented task 1 essays in this forum. You have the potential to score highly in this section of essay writing. Your thoughts are clear and easy to follow. The data presentation is easily understood. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reviewing your next essay.
OP DiepVu99 10 / 21 9  
Aug 21, 2020   #4
Thank you so much for your detailed advice. I will try the best to write better essays next times.
I think you have a misunderstand in here, I completely put my overview at the second paragraph but there is no space to distinguish from the first one

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