Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS task two: young people tend to take a gap year before they study in universities

kikiyiu 5 / 12 2  
Mar 30, 2018   #1
It is thought by some people that teenagers should be fortified to have a gap year before they get in University. They may understand themselves more, but it may affect the freedom of them.

is the gap year waste of time?

Firstly, it is commonly believed that students have to know what they want and how can they received it from colleges. In some countries, especially in Asia, the helicopter parents make all choices for their children. Education is one of the decisions they make. In the children mind, studying in university is an instruction to follow. They do not know what can they learn in universities, and what they really want. Therefore, many people are regret after they saw a bigger world in universities. For example, one of my friend was studying business when I met her. However, she quit her bachelor's degree in year three because she realised that music is what she really want to learn and aim to be a professional musician after she know harp in the college. She is now a year two student of an undergraduate programme of music. It is argued by some that sending teenagers who do not really know what they want is wasting social resources, and giving an opportunity for them to get a job or travel around to see the world is a way to avoid problems.

On the other hand, some people support the opinion that to have a break or not is a personal decision of the teenagers and enforcing them to have it is injuring the freedom of the high school graduates. The students who graduated from secondary school are aged 17-18 years old in most of the countries. After years of education, the students are able to make their own decisions. Also, planning a gap year for the students is a way of spoiling. They should take the responsibility of their own life. It may lead to some negative effects to the students if having a gap year is compulsory.

To conclude, while there are some points to support students having to work or have a trip before they study in universities and avoid resources wasting, it may harm the freedom and development of teenagers.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,312 2863  
Mar 31, 2018   #2
Kiki, remember that there is a 5 sentence maximum per paragraph presentation. For the task 2 test, you should also present 5 paragraphs for the discussion. That means you should present a prompt paraphrase, 3 body paragraphs (composed of one topic each), and a concluding summary. Your essay fails to represent the appropriate format because you forgot the sentence requirement per paragraph. There is no part of the required format that is properly presented in your essay. Therefore, it will be difficult for you to get a passing score with this ill formatted and yet, still under discussed presentation. The best manner for the discussion you presented would have been to divide your reason and example discussion in the first paragraph into the 3 body paragraphs. The problem with that though, is that you would not be able to properly discuss the advantages and disadvantages in the 3 body paragraph requirement. Learn to say more with less words. Keep it short but informative. That is the best way to make these essay presentations work better in terms of scoring potential.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task two: young people tend to take a gap year before they study in universities