Dear,
My exam is coming soon!!!
please help me to improve my writing.
is it proper format to write this type of essay.
it would be best evaluation based on four criteria, pls dont forget to give band score for each criteria which ll help me a lot.
Thanks for your time.
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?\
options for living: an apartment or a house?
A discussion has been ongoing regarding convenient housing in terms of living facilities. Although a few support to live in houses, another group has preference to apartments. This essay will discuss whether the better accommodation is houses or apartments comparing their advantages and disadvantages.
A house has its own attractions for its inhabitants. It is usually specious, so it is easy to pursue any hobbies such gardening, fishing and among other thing. Also it facilitates homeowner's privacy to a great extend. Thus, it becomes a preferable place not only for pursuing hobbies, but also for getting the level of privacy. Hence, houses are considered as more advantageous than apartments by some.
Apartment living, however; is more cost-effective than house living. Typically, it is a small place relatively, so it requires less energy to cool and heat, which save money of owner. Even its maintenance cost is much cheaper relatively. While it is efficient to maintain, houses' maintenance is cost consuming. Therefore, there is a consideration for apartments as a more convenient place to live.
Furthermore, apartment has better safety system as it invests more money for its security. It has not only trained gourds, but also CCTV cameras to monitor unusual thing. Those fill up the sense of security of its residents. Such systems are hard to find out in a house due to its infrastructure style and low investment for this. Consequently, apartment complex is regarded as a safer than a house.
It is apparent that both accommodations have their own attractions which influence on lifestyle different ways. That is why people are divided in two opinions in this regard.I would opine that advantages of apartment living overweight house's disadvantages.
words:281
thanks again :)Change to "Although a few support to living in houses.
Change SPECIOUS to "Spacious".
Change GREAT EXTEND to "Great extent"
Replace "overweight" with "supersedes"
Instead of stating that "Furthermore, apartment ...", you may consider substituting with "Furthermore, apartments have better safety systems due to the availability of enough money to invest in their security".
Good luck.
spacious
any hobby (any + singular)
houses are considered as to be more advantageous
In conclusion/To conclude, it is apparent ... influence on lifestyle in different ways.
That is That explains why people are divided in into two groups ...
... apartment living overweight outweigh house's disadvantages.
I think it would be better to have more examples for each argument.
