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An uncharged service as a part of high school programs

wendy900327 1 / -  
May 14, 2018   #1
IELTS writing task 2
topic: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

compulsory community service for free at schools?

It is indisputable that some people demand that uncharged service which is for public be suitable to be a part of high school programs. While some might argue that it is not appropriate to the pupils' learnings, I personally would agree with the idea that uncharged service is beneficial to both society and individuals.

In terms of the reasons why people turn down to the uncharged service conducted by children, it might attribute to the following factors. Firstly, with the limitation of time, it could be difficult for children to strike a balance between the charitable program and the assignments form schools. And then, because under-aged students do not know so well about how to tackle the problems appropriately, some community engagements could be hard to accomplish sometimes.

Yet there are some advantages if the unpaid service for public has been done. For individuals, a student could acquire immense tasks through practical experience, in the meantime, they van thus cultivate the ability to deal with the difficulties. When I was volunteering to the animal shelter in my neighborhood, for instance, I ran into an earthquake. Whats worse the minute the earthquake hit, al the animals wet nuts. They thus fight with others. After that, I learned how to cope with animals' trauma from a peer volunteer. With this impressive experience, I am an expert at healing simple wounds of animals.

To sum up, even there are shortcomings for this idea that a compulsory high school program for unpaid service, the advantages are outdo than the drawbacks. That is to say, it is in favor of children' developments through invaluable practical experience.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,355 2884  
May 21, 2018   #2
Wendy, the first mistake that you made in the writing of this essay is that your opening presentation did not include an emotional response to a single opinion, as the focus of your essay. As such, you failed to properly implement the expected Task Accuracy requirements. This created an essay that was only partially correct in responding to the question posed. The next problem with your essay, which will prevent it from receiving a passing mark is that you turned this into a "Discuss both points of view, the present a personal opinion discussion", which isn't what the prompt is asking for.

All Task 2 essays, unless otherwise specified, must focus on only a single point of view to discuss, defend, and prove to be the correct opinion, within the essay. This is what all 3 paragraphs should be all about. Since you did not follow the correct discussion instructions, and your response is only partially correct, your essay may not receive a passing score. Most specially since you had examples that were so irrelevant to the discussion that it would fail your C&C scoring as well.

There are several samples of properly written essays based on this prompt at this forum, I urge you to review those essays and learn from the advice given so that you can avoid future errors, such as these failing score causing mistakes, in the future.

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