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Unconscious brain training and the exposure therapy


ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Nov 29, 2016   #1
Unconscious brain training beats phobias without the stress

Exposure therapy is usually utilized to treated phobias, yet the result is not satisfied because some dislike and feel stressful when they try this therapy. Moreover, Hakwan Lau of the University of California tries to use software which can detect what person is thinking without realizing. Lau believe that the result which was presented at the Society for Neuroscience conference in San Diego can easier reduce fear reaction from patients.

By Clare Wilson

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 29, 2016   #2
Ilham,
Where's the link? As you might know, we would not able to check whether your article summary has already represented the most important information or not without reading the real article. However, let's just take a closer look on my feedback below.

- ... usually utilized to treatedtreat phobias (to+infinitive) , yet the result is not satisfiedsatisfying because some patients/people dislike and feel ...
- Moreover, Hakwan Lau offrom the University of California tries to (...) thinking without realizing(did you mean "analyzing"?) .
- ... the result which was presented(this sentence needs a time signal that indicates the most appropriate tense that you can probably use) at the Society for NeuroscienceNeurosciences conference in San Diego can easier reduce fear reaction from patients easier .

As you can see, you have written 3 long-but-inaccurate sentences in which can bring detrimental effect towards your final grading. Avoid making long sentences if you are unsure about its accuracy. Hope this helps :)
Bams17 28 / 43  
Nov 29, 2016   #3
... usually utilized to treatedto always infinitive followed by verb 1 phobias, yet the result ...

1. less information i think that better if you complete this passage
2. try to write more length
3. insert the link
4. use conjunction to make smooth your passage


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