Th continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
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Uncontrolled population growth rate has been a contemporary issue in many countries in recent years. This problem usually associated with social belief and the government do not pays enough attention. Many people argue that this is the greatest worldwide problem these days, but I personally believe that this can be tackled gradually if society and the government collaborate to alleviate it.
In many parts of the world, particularly in developing countries, society still has a belief that having more children means prosperity. Because of that, those people have a strong will to create a big family even though their financial status is not good enough. Another cause is the fear of birth control. Most uneducated people refuse to get a birth control treatment. Besides the cost of the treatment is fairly high, people reject it because they think that the chemicals used for it will badly affect their health. In all, those attitudes will lead to overgrow population.
Some people think that this issues is the greatest problem faced by human race. The reason is, overpopulation will leads to several social and environmental issues. For example, overpopulation indirectly worsen the green house effect due to bigger consumption of fossil fuels and more human waste. However, I believe that population growth rate is not a big problem because it will be easily controlled if people open their mind of its detrimental effects. The societies should stop to believe that big family will make them healthy because the effect is obviously the reverse. This issue actually is easy to overcome if the government provide free birth control and routine seminar to make people understand that the treatment is harmless.
To sum up, it is clear that continued population growth is caused by people's attitude towards birth control and lack of government's attention to tackle this problem. I strongly believe that this case is overestimated as the greatest problem in humanity. It will be good if both society and the government work together more seriously to overcome this problem.
Hi miss Angga, I have read your good writing. Let me give my opinion about your writing :)
This problem usually associated withconnected tosocial belief and the government(two subjets) do not payspay enough attention.
This issue actually isis actually easy to overcome if the government provideprovides free birth control and routine seminar to make people understand that the treatment is harmless.
It will be good if both society and the government work together more seriouslyserious to overcome this problem.
Thank you
Hi Angga, I hope to add some insights in your essay.
- This problem is usually
- does not pays enough attention.
- if the society and
- those people have a strong
- to get a birth control treatment.
- InOver all,
- thosethis attitudes will lead
- to overgrown population.
There you have it Angga, this is only the first 2 paragraphs of your essay and I hope it's useful in creating your revision. As I notice you were missing the linking verbs and the form of the words are also not figuratively correct in the input or the place they are incorporated in your sentences. I hope my corrections help in your upcoming revision. When you do the revision, make sure that you review the sentences and somehow proof read it so you can practice to be a critique of your own work, this will also help you see the corrections yourself and this will make you feel more confident in your writing.
This problem (is) usually associated with social belief and the government do not pays enough attention.
suggestion: i think your thesis statement doesn't mention about the causes why population is increasing although you explain in paragraph one, better you mention your position also whether agree or disagree
let me modify your introduction:
This problem is usually associated with social belief and the government do not pay enough attention. Many people argue that this is the greatest worldwide problem these days. This essay will discuss by considering the factors why population is increasing. however, i personally agree that this is a significant problem which is faced by human, and this can be tackled gradually if society and government collaborate to alleviate it.
