Scientific research today attempts to go too far.There are certain things in the world which we simply should should not try to understand.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Science is the knowledge about human effort to understand,or to understand better,the history of the natural world and how the natural world works,with observation and some experiments made by scientists.Nowadays,scientific research has deeply explored.there are some particular thingsthat we should not take a chance to know it,in this whole world.I pretty disagree about this statement.
At the moment when we come to this world,we did not understand about anything which connected with the scientific research at all.So we have to learn and get the knowledge from the school or university.we have to know the basic in order to go with the new era.Because throughout the years,there are so many new inventions and experiments that scientists do.Natural resources have an important role for human needs.The scientists can exploit it and make a new evolution from it.Everybody knows if the scientific research has a function in our environment ,especially in our life,such as technology development,medical,transportation and many more.If we can learn about the function,effect,and how to improve something.It can be apply in our daily lifes.
It is okay if we do not master the subject of scientific research,but better if we want to learn more.Because there are some people who are specialized in some fields learn more about scientific research.We just follow the progress to the new invention.
Obviously,scientific research in this era to goes too far because throughout the years,the new experiments and new invention come from the scientists.And it makes some effects for our lives,such as supporting our daily necesities or solving our life's problem.I disagree with the statement because knowledge that we have learnt is useful.We just need to think what the proper scientific is and how to not damage the world.
Hi siti hamsyah,
I read your essay and I believe that you could stress a little bit more why you disagree with the statement in the assignment. What I mean by this is that, even though all the examples you give are valid ones, the way in which they are presented weakens a bit their message. I believe that the structure of your text is fine, you included an introduction and a conclusion after you developed your point of view, however the logical link between the examples and your thesis in my opinion could be more linear. You could consider the following advises
Science is the knowledge about human effort to understand,or to understand better,the history of the natural world and how the natural world works,with observation and some experiments made by scientists In my opinion, Science is not the knowledge of the human efforts to understand the history of the world. Science is represented by the efforts themselves, not by the knowledge of them. For example, someone could know the effort made by Einstein in order to understand gravity without effectively understanding how gravity works. In my opinion you could try to change this sentence in this way
Science is the knowledge aboutdefined by the human effort to better understand ,or to understand better, the history of the natural world and how the natural worldit works,with observations and some experiments made by scientists in order to verify their theories
In order to keep things simpler in your introduction, you could consider the following corrections
Nowadays,scientific research has deeply explored nature
there are some particular thingsthat we should not take a chance to know it,in this whole world. I pretty much disagree aboutwiththisthe statement in the assignment . (in general you should not repeat or copy sentences from the text of the assignment!)
In your second paragraph you describe the point that everybody needs to understand science in order to advance technologically while preserving the environment, with a great impact in everyday lives. In my opinion you could try to link this paragraph more with the assignment. For example you could add a comparison between this era, which is technologically advanced, and for example middle age, in which, because of a lower understanding of the human bodies, there were a lot more epidemics. Or you could try to describe the pros and cons of knowing how nature works concluding that in your opinion there are more advantages than drawbacks.
In the last two paragraphs, if I understood correctly, you concentrate on the fact that, if we know how to use science, we can only gain advantages. Again, as I said before, you could elaborate on this point a little bit more. If you believe that science is good if it is used in the correct way, you could make some comparisons, for example a knife in itself is useful if used in the correct way, what make it dangerous is the person that uses it in the wrong way, but because of that there is no point in hiding how to build a knife, and that is what happens with science.
In conclusion, I believe that you have made a good essay, just try to keep it simpler, possibly with a more linear logical connection between what you write and why you write it in order to reach your thesis, keeping an eye on grammar!
I hope this helps
HI Siti, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay with the focus on the last 2 paragraphs of the essay.
- It is okayacceptable if we do
- Because( try to avoid using "because" in the beginning of your sentence ) T here are some
- people who are specialized( mind the form of your verb)
- in some fields and learn more
- We justneed to follow
- the progress to the new invention.
- Obviously,scientific research in this era to
- goes too far becauseas we've seen throughout the years,
- scientists.Andand it makes
- some effectshas affectedfor our lives,
- I disagree with the statement above
- because the knowledge that we have learnt is useful.
- We just need to think what
- the proper scientificscience is and
- how to not to damage the world.
There you have it Siti, as you can see there are still a lot of work to be done, one thing that I notice is the structure of the sentences, the make up of the words in the sentence is not appropriate for the idea that you are trying to bring to your readers, I hope the remarks helped!
