It would be great if I could get some feedback on this essay in the context of the old SAT test. I really want to improve on creating relevance to my thesis within my body paragraphs, and linking support back to my main idea. I also want to know how to make my conclusion and intro stronger, and possibly what score range this essay would be in. Thank you!
Prompt: Do we need others to understand ourselves?
Introspection is a powerful tool for self-reflection, but even more potent in accomplishing that is the company of others. By interacting with people, we put ourselves in situations impossible to experience when we are alone. These experiences shape our identities by revealing aspects of ourselves we may have never noticed before. The company of others helps us understand our own strengths and goals.
We often think that inner strength comes to us when we are at our loneliest point in life, but it is from other people which we derive this strength. An example of this is notable physicist Richard Feynman. Feynman was a prodigy since childhood; some people consider his genius to be innate. Yet it was not until he met fellow researcher John Wheeler at Princeton University that he began to discover the true potential of his thinking. Wheeler challenged and checked Feynman's theories and intuitions in ways Feynman had not experienced before. By interacting with Williams, Feynman found out how to utilize his powerful mind to even greater extents.
In addition to our strengths, other people help us understand our goals as well. In the epic of Odysseus, the hero is confronted by Circe, an enchanting sorceress, on her island. Circe lulls all of Odysseus's men and shows Odysseus everything a man would need to be superficially happy, but as he stays with her longer, Odysseus realizes what he truly needs to be happy. Circe's utopian island allowed Odysseus to reevaluate himself, thus discovering that his true desires would be fulfilled when he returned home. Being in the company of someone else, not matter how deceiving that person is, will help elucidate our dreams and desires.
Socialization is the key to many of the locked doors within ourselves. Though some believe that true self-realization must be done in solitude, that solitude can only help us understand what we ourselves already understand. In order to probe deeper within our strengths and our goals, we must seek the company of others.
Being in the company of someone else, no matter how deceiving that person is, will help elucidate our dreams and desires.
Though some believe that true self-realization must be done in solitude, that solitude can only help us understand what we ourselves already understand. In order to probe deeper within our strengths and our goals, we must seek the company of others.
Although it is healthy for us as humans to be alone, we need to interact with people to reach our full potential. Solitude can only help us realize stuff we already know about our self. It can not helps us unlock our grater power, only socialization can do that. To be the best we can, we need to be social and communicate with people. If we don't then we will never know what we're capable of.
- Introspection is a powerful tool for self-reflection, but even more potent in accomplishing that is the company of others.(this first sentence started out right but the other half of it does not make sense so I'm not sure how to correct it)
- ...which we derive this strength from .
- ...in the company of someone else, notno matter how deceiving that person is,..
- SocializationSocializing is the key to many of the locked doors within ourselves.
Somehow, for a person to understand his inner self is to be her/himself, to be just who they are and act with respect.
Respect not only to the people around them but more to one self. It does not only make you feel good, it will also make people feel good having you around.
