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My most unforgettable meal


jessiewuwu 1 / -  
Jul 30, 2017   #1

tasteful remembrance



I believe my most unforgettable meal was a welcome dinner I had when I went to Xi'an to join an exchange activity with the students of there during this summer. The reason that I never forgot that meal is all the dishes on the table were covered by a layer of scary red spicy oil on it. Although I can eat something spicy, but every bites of Xi'an cuisine make my mouth felt on fire. The worst is the air condition of the restaurant was broken, and you will never know how hot and how unforgettable to have hot spicy food in a forty-degree weather.
Hiddengrace 6 / 118 68  
Jul 30, 2017   #2
Hi there Wu Mei. What exactly was the prompt or assignment? Your essay is succinct and short, but I think you need to create a story here. Try adding in some more details like how you were feeling during the dinner (were you jet lagged? excited? nervous?), what the table looked like, what the atmosphere was like (noisy, people talking, quiet, etc..). Try thinking about how you felt when you took that first bite. Did you know it was going to be hot? Did you eat it anyway or did you not eat anything? How specifically did you feel? What has your reaction? Did you try to cover it up that your mouth was on fire or did you yell or gulp down a glass of water? You have a good start but you can definitely go further with this! Try to write so that the reader gets a clear picture of the situation.
AnnieLZY 3 / 5 1  
Jul 31, 2017   #3
... exchange activity with the students of therelocal students during this summer.

Although I can eat something spicy, but every bites of ...

The worst isWhat's worse, the air condition ...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Aug 1, 2017   #4
Jessie as a simple statement that describes a meal that you remember, this essay is sufficient. It delivers all the required elements that describes the meal in a quick manner. It is direct to the point and gives the reader and engaging enough overview that would "hook" his interest. I take it that you were not asked to write a full length essay and instead, you were just asked to provide a statement of an unforgettable meal? If so, then this is a pretty good summary of that event.

Was there a word count limit? From the length and complete details of the statement, not essay that you wrote, then you did a pretty good job. However, you neglected to pay attention to the grammatical rules regarding time continuity. Since this is an event that happened in the past, you need to make sure that all of your references to actions taken are in the past tense form. That way your paragraph becomes coherent to the reader. For a practice statement, this has some negligible flaws. All you have to do is take note of the flaws as provided so that you can remember not to make the same mistake when you practice writing another response statement.


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