Some high schools require all students to swear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better?
Whether to have uniform as the compulsory clothes in the high school has been the heated discussion topic for many years. More likely, the students think and the teachers stand on two opposite sides: the students want to wear their own clothes while the teachers insist that there should be a uniform. As an undergraduate who is a high school student before, I stand on the students' side: the high schools should permit students to decide what to wear to school.
One of the reasons is that it is students' freedom and right to choose what they wear. Generally speaking, almost every boy wants to look cool or handsome, while girls want to be pretty or brilliant, which is human's nature. So students should have the freedom to wear cool or beautiful. What's more, the clothes may be a mirror of one's personality. For example, the person who is outgoing will more likely wear clothes with bright colors, while the person who is shy may be like clothes with deep colors. So wearing one's own clothes is a way to show his or her characteristics and personality, and of course, students should have the freedom to show their personalities. Even if school has a uniform, the students should have the right to choose whether to buy it and whether to wear it.
Someone may say that the same uniform can avoid students comparing clothes or wealth with others, so that students can focus on their studying. I do not agree with that. It is very common that comparing what I have with what others, which not only happen on the students in the high school campus, but also happen on almost everyone in today's society. So it is meaningless to avoid it. What should be done is teach the students how to deal with it. That is the value of school, where students not only learn the academic knowledge, but also learn how to survive in the society, and not always comparing with others is one part of that. Besides, the uniform cannot even avoid this problem, because in the same suit, students can focus on the shoes, mobile phone when they want to compare with other. As far as I'm concerned, to permit students to wear their own clothes just gives the students a chance to face that problem, and start to find the solutions.
As you can see, the uniform deprives students of the freedom to choose what they wear, masks students' personalities, and does nothing about its original goal: to avoid students comparing with each other on the clothes or wealth. So it seems that the uniform is not necessary at all. Let's drop it and wear our own clothes.
Please give me some feedback on content, structure, and language.
I also want to know about some TOEFL writing tips.
Thanks, Mahrou, I'll pink up where you left off:
Some may say that requiring everyone to wear the same uniform can avoid students comparing clothes or wealth with others, so that students can focus on their studying. ---Great job here... I just added a few words.
What people should do is teach the students how to deal with it.
Hey, you have very few errors. You write better than many native speakers. So, if you wrote this without help I think you are already ready for the toefl.
My advice, though: have a sentence collection. Memorize about 20 sentences that you can use by replacing a few words so that they are appropriate for any situation.
For example:
Some may say that requiring everyone to wear the same uniform can avoid students comparing clothes or wealth with others.
Some may say that replacing old buildings with new buildings can avoid hazards and improve the atmosphere.
Some may say that letting parents make decisions for children can avoid calamity.
:-)
