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IELTS 2 - The unintended consequences of social media for young people and their relationships

Namta 1 / 5 1  
Mar 6, 2023   #1
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

What is your opinion?

Some people thought that social media such as Facebook or Twitter creates favorable conditions and assists people to connect with others. However, many people strongly believe that social networks breed a lot of unintended consequences for young people and their relationships. From my perspective, I wholly concur with this statement and will analyze this issue in the following essay.

To begin with, social media have detrimental impacts on peoples' communication skills. In this day and age, many teenagers abuse Facebook or Twitter and spend plenty of time online and updating news, even though they always keep their smartphones by their side by dint of being frightened to lag behind and fear of missing out on new trends. In fact, there are numerous studies that illustrate that social media create barriers in practical communication situations, and being scared of talking to strangers is rooted for using social media. Lack of face-to-face interactions is the key factor to devastate personal relationships and communication skills.

Another reason to support the notion is that social networks are associated with a number of issues and potential dangers to mental health. The overabundant use of social media triggers the absence of direct communication forms and outdoor activities which not only weakens social relationships but also poses countless health risks. Some researchers concluded that children utilize social networks more than 2 hours per day who have 50% higher risks of mental diseases including depression, anxiety disorders, and autism. Additionally, children's development, perceptions, and behaviors are impacted by social media sites for the worse. Therefore, it is apparent that social media sites are truly hazardous.

In conclusion, I completely agree that social networks breed many deleterious influences on young people and parents should devise a sound strategy to control the usage of their offspring.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,744 4514  
Mar 7, 2023   #2
will analyze this issue in the following essay.

This will be a cause of deduction points in the first paragraph. You were clearly asked to state you opinion. That makes the question a part of the prompt restatement + writer's opinion. You must tell the examiner what you think and why in the form of a thesis statement or, over 2 sentences that state your opinion and a summary of your reasoning focus.


Incorrect plural form. An apostrophe is never used to indicate a plural form of a word. It is only used to indicate ownership, which you are not doing in this case. Errors such as these will definitely affect your GRA score in a negative way. Learn the proper way of writing plural words. That often just needs a +S or a +ES in most cases.

In this day and age

Avoid the use of word fillers that do not help move the essay forward. While these help you meet the word count, it does not add substance to your writing or idea presentation.

* Contact me privately for a more detailed review of your essay. There are too many errors present and cannot be accomodated in the free review section.
OP Namta 1 / 5 1  
Mar 7, 2023   #3
Thank you so much!

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