Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Should universities only accept top students? - Writing Task 2

suhihi 1 / -  
Dec 1, 2022   #1
Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing conflict as to whether tertiary schooling should be exclusive to students who have gained many academic credentials or it should be a universal place for all strata regardless of their performances at school. From my perspective, I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following essay.

On the one hand, it is irrefutable that outstanding high school pupils are more deserved to attend university in that recruiting top-tier learners have a positive association with the guarantee of qualities in terms of educational backgrounds. Consequently, were classrooms to embody learners with formidable points, lecturers would be able to highly develop the lessons by stimulating more advanced knowledge, resulting in a better precursor of students as well as enhancing the intellectual levels among them. Furthermore, the school's reputation could be tremendously proliferated what with the strict requirements of school agencies. For example, in an endeavor to maintain prestige, Havard University has only accepted application forms from students who are categorized as geniuses.

On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that success can not be determined by age or a person's intellectual potential, therefore, the view of not letting people of other ages enroll in schools is flawed. Specifically, in some particular occupations such as psychology and education management, elderly people might do even better than the top students because they have more practical experiences and depth-thinking dexterities in life. Additionally, most schools need financial budgets to maintain their facilities. In more detail, if colleges only prioritize students with scholastic achievements which just account for a small number of people in society, many others will not have opportunities to enroll in their universities, leading to a diminishing amount of money from the tuition fee so that colleges will no longer have enough money to improve their equipment.

In conclusion, despite universities being capable of making a room for intelligent students and enhancing their prowess but with me, it would be beneficial in the long run if all students are able to assign to their adorable schools without any requirements of collegiate achievements.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,582 4452  
Dec 2, 2022   #2
From my perspective

This phrase indicates that you already have an opinion that you will be sharing with the reader. Therefore, your opinion should have been presented to indicate that you will be using the 3 reasoning paragraph format for this essay. the writer's opinion ended without stating an opinion. Therefore, deductions will be made since a portion of the task requirement for this paragraph was not achieved. Where there is no clear opinion present, the writer will receive a failing score for the task restatement preliminary consideration.

The essay also did not follow the prescribed discussion format for this topic which is to use a group point of view in comparison with a personal opinion. Since the indication for the writing format for the essay is the 3 reasoning paragraph, the format should have been:

Paragraph 2: Explanation of why Public Opinion 1 is valid (Based on public perception).
Paragraph 3: Explanation of why Public Opinion 2 is valid (Based on mass understanding).
Paragraph 4: Statement of the writer's personal opinion with supporting reasons (Using personal perspective references)

As such, this essay is approached only from the personal opinion side, which makes the discussion incomplete since the required comparative discussion basis is not represented. It will have TA and C+C scoring problems.

Home / Writing Feedback / Should universities only accept top students? - Writing Task 2