Could you help me, please? Thanks!
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Although some people agree with the idea that universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their libraries, I do not agree with it. I think libraries are a very important part of the majority of student's life, and a place that most them spent a lot of time. On the other hand, the money designated for sports will benefit just a group of students.
It is very clear that who goes to study in universities has a very precise goal; to get knowledge and a degree. It is universities' job to provide all the students with some tools and facilities to reach the student's goals. Therefore, since university's libraries play huge role in student's life, libraries need a good budget to not only cover personnel, maintenance and building facilities, but also to have upgraded books and technological resources to satisfy the whole university community. As a fact, my university's library was like my second home. I spent a lot of time there, studying, researching and, also, sleeping. For me, it was a chaos when sometimes I had to jump from place to place to study, in the time off I had between classes, because the library was crowded, and I could get a seat to study.
On the other hand, although I agree sports are an important activity for students, not all of the student can take advantage of it. In my opinion, not all students have in mine sports when they go to a university or college. In fact, when I went to college, the majority of the students around me even care about sports because they barely had time for themselves, including myself. University budget can not put too much money in an secondary area that is not useful for the majority of the students.
In my opinion, libraries play more important role in students' life than sports do. Therefore, universities should give more money to libraries, which benefit the whole student community than to sports, which is an activity that satisfies only a group of the student community.
"Although some people agree with the idea that universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their libraries, I do not agree with it."
It's good that you're using standard construction and it should benefit you eventually. That said, "although" is supposed to give acknowledgment of a fact but proceed toward something unexpected given that fact. Because some people agree, I would not suspect that you also agree, nor would I consider it worth mentioning with an extra measure of significance if you did not agree because some people agree. "Although" seems completely unnecessary to keep it short.
"although" is supposed to give acknowledgment of a fact but proceed toward something unexpected given that fact.
That is a great way to explain it!
Some people agree with the idea that universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their libraries, but I do not agree with it.
Actually, "although" could work here, maybe, because of that "bandwagon" effect. The fact that lots of people like twitter caused me to check it out. The fact that a lot of people agree with this statement might have a bandwagon effect on me.
However, I still agree that the sentence is better without "although."
It is very clear that someone
who goes to study in universities...
Mustafa and Kevin, Thanks very much for your help. I will think twice before use although or other transition word.
Besides the use of although, can you give me more comments on my writing?
I haven't registered yet to take the TOEFL since I think my writing is still very weak. I will appreciate any critic to work on and try to improve it. Thanks again!
"most them" or most of them
It is universities' job to ... Isn't it better to use "universities' responsibility"?
I think you used a lot of "student" in your essay, why don't you use synonyms like pupils or pronouns? for example: ...facilities to reach the student's goals...their goals
in my point of view it was a good essay.
Good day !