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Toefl; universities should provide an internship or educational work for students.

bahareh 18 / 50  
Apr 24, 2012   #1
Hi everybody; please see my toefl essay and give me some feedbacks. Thankyou
One of the challenges for today's youth in university is related to their academic progress. They feel like so much pressure to get high marks during their study. This expectation pushes them towards academics and less on other things that employers are looking for. However, I do believe that having internship or work experience in university motivates students to reach their goals in their future jobs.

First of all, working in university gives students an opportunity to experience hands-on learning, explore an occupation of their choice and develop important skills and habits required in the workplace. For instance, I remember the time when I attended the co-operative education program in my university in order to gain more experience related to my favorite field. It was an immensely enriching and rewarding venture.

Secondly, work experience helps students have a preconceived idea of their future job. Students never learn the real world of working place from their text books. It is important to know how looks like the environment of the job, and what expectation in their work place is. For example, I got some internship in Newton brook high school while studying in Ontario College of Teacher. This experience provided me a better idea of teaching in high school, and how well it would be with teenagers. I could have not been successful in my job, if I had not gotten this opportunity through an internship in my college.

Thirdly, it is obvious that students can earn some money in order to afford their expenses during their study if their university offers an educational work. Everybody has to pay for their accommodation and other fees, so having a part-time job in university would be helpful. Therefore, students can overcome their issues related to financial burden by working in universities.

Although one of the most optimal aspects of learning in university is building up academics for some students, I think that they should be concerned about the related experience which could be gained in universities. Learner can develop essential skills and information required in their future work place.

wendyroza 1 / 2  
Apr 24, 2012   #2
i think you should add a question in the the beginning to make someone hooked..
ana_p 27 / 81  
Apr 27, 2012   #3

I think your essay is in a proper format & well written. Example is very useful which you have given in your essay about your internship. Try to explain at least one example for each reason. Overall it is good.

I am also preparing for TOEFL so please check with others also. Can you please check mine...?



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