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TOEFL Essay -Why go to university (career preparation, self-actualization)


MonkeyDDragon 4 / 10  
Apr 13, 2009   #1
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more and more people choose to enter university or college after they have completed the study in high school. Different people do so for different reasons. In my view, career preparation and self-actualization are two main reasons that so many people consider attending university or college.

Firstly, let us look what is the most important thing for almost people in the future? I assert that it is a stable profession. Because if you don't have it, what would you do when you stepped into self-made life? Of course, nobody wants to be dependent on someone. Therefore, almost of us need to be well-skilled for future job. In this situation, choosing to enter university or college seems to be a perfect choice. At univesity or college, you will be well-educated about knowledge, skills at specialty that you choosed. After all, you will get a diploma when you graduate. This is a very important thing that thanks to it, you will find a job more easily.

Besides, attending to university or college springs from tendency to self-actualization of everyone. After graduated from high school, there are many ways for you to choose. But continuing to study at university or college rather than joining the army for many people is more valuable, especially for young people. It's because they think that the mass of people today appreciate and respect those who are well of knowledge, well-skilled, high degree. In addition, after graduated from university, it's easier to study towards a higher degree. These are big motivation makes people to attend college and university.

In conclusion, of many reasons for people to go to university or college, career preparation and self-actualization have been the most primary. And once at college environment, you are moving towards your dream accompanying with more respected, more confident, more excited...

Thank you for correcting me.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
Apr 13, 2009   #2
Hey, this is very good. Revise for conciseness:

Nowadays, more and more people choose to enter university or college after they have completed the study in high school. Different people do so for different reasons.

Firstly, let us look What is the most important thing for almost people in the future? I assert that it is a stable profession.

Only say powerful things, meaningful things. You write well, buut if you are going to cover self-actualization you should mention A. Maslow and show that you know what it is. It is something specific, so Google it. This essay has a lot of potential!
teelyons 2 / 8  
Apr 13, 2009   #3
MonkeyDDragon,
You covered the topic well. Good points about getting a degree and earning respect from others. I will add something about having a sense of accomplishment. Great job.
rinori89 3 / 10  
Apr 23, 2009   #4
in conclusion, of many reasons for people to go to university or college, career preparation and self-actualization have been the most primary. And once at college environment, you are moving towards your dream accompanying with more respected, more confident, more excited...

If I used "in conclusion" in the last paragraph of my essay, my english teacher would mark it incorrect. She does not allowed me to do that, She says it is obvious that the last paragraph is the conclusion of your essay so why you have to say ' in the conclusion'.

Bye the rest of it was great
adalumi 5 / 13  
Apr 23, 2009   #5
sounds better without that "in conclusion". i think i wrote it too in an essay so...thanks for your advice rinori.

good luck
rinori89 3 / 10  
Apr 26, 2009   #6
No problem, you are welcome
Abby002 3 / 24  
Apr 26, 2009   #7
Well, i think in TOEFL essay, it is important to use conjunctions. May be instead of saying 'in conlcusion', you can replace it to 'in a nutshell' or To sum up the discussion ...

What do you think?


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