Hello Ron Weasley
I want to give some suggestion about your essay
In a few decades ago, a graduate from university could gain a high rate to get a good job. However, many students now consider universities enrollment might no longer the best choice for their career. Therefore, students should start working after a course and accrue the work experience.
This introduction is good enough, but i think it needs a notable improvement. Let me give a try;
A successful person is identical with a degree. As such, some people are convinced that attending a university is the only way to achieve an excellent career, since students can gain better skills related to their future job. This is in stark contrast to others who argue that since a university merely provides fundamental theories, this study place is less likely to be suitable with people looking for job. Therefore, I would claim that the university still stands out because such a place brings some benefits: managerial and social skills.In conclusion, although studying at university is a good opportunities to get knowledge, students are now more likely to join in the real work environment. It seems to be a good way for students to ensure their future.
Also your conclusion has to include a recommendation. Here is my conclusion;
The aforementioned evidence reveals that the university leads to a better future with a superior career path. Students are taught how to manage their time well in a hectic schedule. They also learn to work in a team so as to encourage their social behavior. It is imperative that students should earn a degree to gain a successful life.Hope this can help, good luck for you! - Vania Herlambang