University graduates in Canada - IELTS WRITING Task 1 Question and Answer

writing report about Canadian graduates

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

A glance at the line graph provided reveals the amount of institution graduates male and female in Canada between 1992 and 2007.

Overall, it can be seen that, despite some fluctuations, over the period as a whole the number of graduates rose in male and female

In 1992, the sum of female alumnus stood at just below 100000 graduates. Over the next 3 years, they rose steadily to reach around 105000 graduates. Afterward, women dropped moderately to reach approximately 10000 graduates 3 years later. During 8 years, the number of female graduates grew enormously to achieve just under 150000 graduates in the course of 2006.

Turning to the boy, at the beginning of the period, University in Canada had graduated males approximately 70000 graduates. Over one decade, they witnessed a fluctuation and in the following 4 years, the figure saw a huge climb at almost 95000 graduates at the end of the period.

Please give me feedback and give band score!

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@panatagama51
A glance at I don't think it is a formal expression, better find another way to start the task description.

Overall, it can be seen that, despite some fluctuations, over the period as a whole the number of graduates rose in male and female Looks like these words are unnecessary here, the meaning does not change without them.

10000 graduates you missed one zero, adding commas should help to avoid such mistakes. 10,000 and 100,000 is easier to spot.

Turning to the boy boy (or boys) is not formal, and you are talking about males or men not boys.

You might miss the word count if the examiner excludes unnecessary words. To be safe, better to write more than 150, maybe 170.

Do not rush when writing your report. Always take some time towards the end to review your work. This error filled essay cannot be given a score at this point, no matter how you demand it, because it will not get a passing score. Which is why the policy at this forum is to score the student on the 2nd submission, rather than the first, which is normally filled with errors. Your work is a clear example of that.

There are missing periods in several sentences. There are overused commas in some paragraphs. You need to use the plural form throughout the essay, you used the singular in some spots. The essay loses focus and clarity because you opted to use approximations in the essay when there were clear data digits provided.

When you are given years to reference in the data report, use year groupings as a part of the data presentation so that the reader will be clear about what eras are being presented in the report. You cannot just keep using year measurement references because your reader will have to do the computation based on the years you presented in the summary. The examiner will not bother to do the math. He'll simply mark this with a TA score of 4, because of the unclear parts of your presentation, which occurred because of the lack of year references. With that kind of TA score, add the other errors in the GRA section, lack of coherence and clarity, and you can understand why I cannot give you a score for this essay. It will not pass the test.

I am sure that you will do better next time though. Focus on your GRA and data usage next time. Avoid words that connote uncertainty, make sure you use the right plural or singular form, and use 3-5 sentences per paragraph. Do not use run-on sentences, but do use complex sentence forms to help your GRA score.