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IELTS-Do university graduates deserve higher salary than those who have not?


sobin 12 / 24  
Aug 20, 2011   #1
hi friends,
first of all,I'm sorry unfortunately i couldn't upload the picture of graph with the essay.Please give me ur feedback n correction about my essay..

n thanks a lot for your patience n time..
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task-1:-
The graph shows the four leading types of farming produce in Mitchford city between 1970-2000
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant..
Ans:
The graph gives information about the four leading types of products,which mainly contributed to Mitchford city's economy between 1970 and 2000.The main farming products of Mitchford city in these three decades were cotton,corn,wheat and sugar.

In detail,in the beginning of 1970's Mitchford city was producing around half a million of dollar worth wheat.during this period wheat was the main source of income in the Mitchford city.However,at the end of 1980's the income boosted with the increased demand for cotton in the market.Indeed,the demand rocketed the selling of cotton from twenty thousand dollars to ninety thousand dollars in between 1985 and 1995.Apart from this,the production of sugar showed a gradual increase ,from twenty five thousand dollars in 1970, all around these three decades.At the same time time the market for cotton plummeted from ninety thousand dollars to twenty thousand dollars by the middle of 2000.Meanwhile, corn farming was slipping from its peak level of forty thousand dollars to its beginning level,thirty thousand dollars, by the middle of second decade.

In a nut shell, the whole farming produce has added a large sum of money to the Mitchford's economy.The most part of all this is that,the contribution from each product were depending up on the market,but all this played a major role in the economy.

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Task-2:-
When the time comes to commence full-time employment,individuals who have graduated from university deserve a higher salary than those who have not.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience..
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Nowadays,many of the people,all around the world ,have been arguing about the job opportunities for the young graduates in our job market.Most of the are arguing for a higher salary and position for the young graduates.On the other hand,some argue to offer a job with better salary not by considering the graduation but by considering their caliber and experience.In fact,both arguments have its own advantages and disadvantages.

In detail,the graduates are great benefit to the organization.They try to energize the organization with their dynamic thoughts and energy..Apart from this,a job seeker,who graduated from a university ,will be brilliant enough to solve the puzzles which arise in front of him.Many of the high street bankers,for example,hire only graduates as their employee.This always help them to boost their output.

However,an experience person,who has not got any graduation from any university,is enough to compete the job market.Moreover,they know to act according to the situation spontaneously.Apart from this,they always plan the future by comparing the situation with their previous experience.For instance,an experienced mechanic get more salary than a job seeker who graduated in the same field.

In a nutshell,university graduation plays a major role in the field of employment.However,some job require more experience than a graduation.Therefore,I am not agreeing with the above statement.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,339 129  
Aug 29, 2011   #2
In detail,in the beginning of 1970's Mitchford city was producing around half a million of dollar worth wheat.during this period wheat was the main source of income in the Mitchford city.

Okay, I see that you used "In detail,..." but I don't think that is a good way to start a sentence. It might be better to say:

Specifically, in the beginning...

If you say Mitchford City, capitalize City. The word "City" is part of the name of the city.
This is correct capitalization:
Mitchford City is my favorite city. ----The second time I write "city" it is a common noun instead of a proper noun.

You can google this: When is city a proper noun?

:-)

Another important point: Capitalize the first word of every sentence. I saw one sentence that had a first word that was not capitalized.


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