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University is the place where people seek to further develop their expertise

sweetgoofy 1 / -  
Jan 2, 2011   #1
hi all, im new to the forum and below is my attempt to the second writing task in test 4 in cambridge 7. my test date will be this upcoming saturday so any help is greatly appreciated. could anyone give me some feedback as to the essay structure and so forth? also it will be good if anyone could let me know what sort of marks im looking at for my essay in terms of ielts band score. cheers sweetgoofy

the topic is:
some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

what, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

and heres my essay copied n pasted:

Universities have quickly become the places to go when people seek to further develop their expertise. Whether this really suits the needs of their potential employers is highly unlikely as universities nowadays have evolved as a domain of experts: where more and more is known about less and less. Nevertheless, among the vast range of choices offered there are often some training courses that have direct implications on job-seeking and other aspects in everyday life. However, although I respect the universities' aim of providing such courses to develop skills required for work and support their cause, I do not believe it is the main or best function of a university.

A university, in common sense, is a medium for conveying or providing access to knowledge. What is meant by this is that students are the ones universities should really cater for, not the employers, as students are the ones here to seek knowledge. High school graduates choose to further educate themselves in universities because of all different reasons: a degree that's more widely accepted, gain knowledge and insight into an industry, or simply deepen their research interests in a certain field.

On the other hand, universities and be regarded as institutions where abundant educational resources gather. It is, therefore, not necessary for a certain course or type of training to be offered to the students by a university, but instead, these must be made available when needed. So the truth lies somewhere closer to the fact that a university should provide access to information, rather than offer selected courses that are suitable for employers' taste.

In conclusion, the main function of a university remains as the provision of knowledge and access to resources. It would be helpful, however, if certain courses concerning workplace skills can also be made available to students to help shape their futures.

thx again for your help=P

RiX - / 1  
Jan 3, 2011   #2
the longest part is here introduction. I think that is not the right structure... that is how my teacher learnt me to write. I got 7, you may consider my words not serious...
sakura0v0 1 / 3  
Jan 5, 2011   #3
I agree with john ,this structure alway appear at toefl write~
my teacher alway cut my long sentences into several short
i hope it can help you ,though I only got 6 last time..
riny 13 / 26  
Jan 7, 2011   #4
their expertise and knowledge

support their causes (?)

to take a degree that's more widely accepted, to gain knowledge and insight into an industry, or simply to deepen their research interests in a certain field

sufficient vocabularies!! but some sentences are hard to understand...u can make it more simple :)

good luck!

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