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University must wisely allot money on sport activities and libraries because those all are essential


Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 12, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Equaling the finance of libraries and sport activities is necessary because both of them are important. Furthermore, it will make a huge impact on the university's reputation. That is why, this is a stance that I strongly support.

When it comes to expense. University must balance their expense for both things, since those things are essential for any students. Many students who need to do assignments or just simply homework must experience a comfortable environment in the library to obtain the best outcome . In terms of sport activities, numerous students are suffering from obesity or they want to stay fit and healthy.

Secondly, he role of university is to entice as many students from different walks of life . Thus, if there will be lots complains about the biasness and so on. It is going to be really challenging for many universities to obtain students. Even though, it does not apply to every single university on this planet because they are many universities that already have a sufficient amount of prestige. However, it is better to organize your university properly. After all, those things are equally pivotal. Ultimately, it is inevitable to escape from improving those things.

By way of conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief that university must reasonably allot money on both things because those all are essential. Moreover, it will reinforce the university to acquire more and more students.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 12, 2014   #2
Comments and suggestions to follow below. Please take note of the very important note I presented at the end regarding your method of writing the concluding statement. This is an ongoing problem with your essays that needs to be addressed.

Equaling the finance of libraries and sport activities is ...

- This is a good way of presenting your restated prompt and thesis statement. You clearly understand what kind of answer the prompt is expecting.

When it comes to expense. University must balance their expense for both things...

- These are good arguments. However, both are under developed. You need to provide a strong discussion of both reasons as separate paragraphs. Present more reasons for the need to allot an equal amount for the library such as upgrading the technological facilities where students can work on the computers for their research and the maintenance of the existing materials in the library such as the books and archives. That is one paragraph unto itself. Then the sports part needs to be discussed separately since you can only discuss one thought or topic per paragraph. For sports, you should develop the obesity and health related concerns as the reason for the equal budget. These discussions will prove the importance of equal budgeting for the two.

Secondly, he role of university is to entice as many students from different walks of life . Thus, if there will ...

- This line of reasoning does not resonate with the essay prompt. I suggest you delete it and in its place, discuss why some sectors believe that the library and sports facilities should not have equal budgets. Remember, these kinds of essays need an opposing argument in order to become effective in its defense of its stand.

By way of conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief ...

- I keep reminding you that you are not supposed to present new ideas in the conclusion and yet you keep on doing that. Please stop doing that. You know it is against the essay rules. If you want to talk about enticing new students, do it in a separate paragraph and then write the conclusion to your essay covering the restated prompt, summary of facts, and a repetition of your stand.
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Oct 12, 2014   #3
vangiespen, if you do not mind i want to ask you a question, when it comes to Toefl is it okay to write that both elements are pivotal. I mean should i choose something specifically to talk about or to write more about what i focus on and just a little bit about other choice. And yes, it is about public transportation vs roads
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 13, 2014   #4
when it comes to Toefl is it okay to write that both elements are pivotal.

The TOEFL tests many avenues of your English skills, one of these avenues is your ability to analyze and comprehend English sentences via the questions posed as an essay prompt. Therefore, when it is necessary to discuss two elements or you feel that something should be equally done, then you must discuss it as such. Just remember to defend your stand very well. There are no wrong or right answers in the TOEFL. The examiners are looking at your ability to apply analysis and logic to the questions posed. This proves your ability to understand and communicate accurately in the English language which in turn, shows them that you will probably be a a good student in the American school you will eventually be admitted into.


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