Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Unknown charge - CELPIP TEST - email to the credit card company

HanNguyen0510 18 / 40 17  
Sep 7, 2018   #1
Read the following information.
You have been using the same credit card for the past 10 years with no issues. On your last bill, you noticed an unfamiliar $50 charge. You did not recognize this transaction and are certain that this is a mistake.

Write an email to the credit card company in about 150 - 200 words.

Dear credit card customer service,

I am writing to draw your attention towards an unknown charge of $50 on my last bill, which was issued on September 2nd. The unexpected payment was at Pet Smart store three weeks ago that drove me bewildered. The transaction accumulated to the total I'd used so as a result, I was over limit for what I could pay. What occurred caused a wrong amount on my bill.

I assured that it is a mistake because neither I nor my husband raises any pet at our apartment. Occasionally, I stop at Pet Smart store with one of my friend although I usually end up my visit without purchasing any food or accessories for pet. Therefore, there should have not had any charge at the store.

Being your loyal customer for the last 10 years, I'd made an effort to call your customer service but the line was busy, so I decided to write this email. It would be so nice of you to send me a new bill with an extension of due date and discharge the $50 on it. In addition, I refuse to pay for the credit I'd owed until I receive new information from your company.

Han Nguyen
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,211 3650  
Sep 8, 2018   #2
Han, you cannot be driven bewildered because being bewildered is a state of being perplexed and confused; very puzzled. You can be driven crazy or driven up the wall, but never driven bewildered. There is no such thing as an unknown charge on a credit card because the store where the transaction was made is always indicated. That transaction should instead be referenced as a misposting or mistaken posting on your card. There is a confusing reference in your first paragraph:

The transaction accumulated to the total I'd used so as a result,

- Did you mean to say that the transaction forced you to go over your credit card limit instead? I'm not entirely sure what you meant to say here. Remember, don't thinkin your language then translate to English. That is how you end up with confusingly worded sentences such as the above example. Think in English, write in English.

You do not ask the credit card company to discharge the $50, you ask them to deduct it. Deduct means to remove from a balance while discharge means to tell (someone) officially that they can or must leave a place or situation. You should not be saying you refuse to pay but rather that you hope an investigation as to how the error occurred and that you will cooperate with them. By the way, you don't need to explain to them that you went to PetSmart with a friend but did not buy anything. That is irrelevant to the misposting.

While you do have several errors in the presentation of this letter, you did manage to present all the required information and expectations as to how the problem can be resolved. If your grammar issues are not considered, this letter is somewhat acceptable in presentation.
OP HanNguyen0510 18 / 40 17  
Sep 8, 2018   #3
Thanks Holt for your detailed feedback. I'm still working hard on improving vocabulary usage and grammar.

Home / Writing Feedback / Unknown charge - CELPIP TEST - email to the credit card company