It is unlikely nowadays not to get influenced by the trends, including related to fashion as well.

Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?

The world is becoming smaller day by day! Today the entire world is moving towards information abundance. These are the times of flash news and paparazzi. The life of rich and famous is now available on your phone every day. This is also the time when the companies are investing in reaching out and influencing their customers through multiple channels like social media, electronic media or word of mouth. In such world, it becomes highly unlikely that we may not get influenced by the trends including related to fashion as well.

In today's world youth has emerged out a key player in economic landscape. Today's youth has good buying power. The youth today is entrepreneurial and wants to show the status. Fashion is one of the mode to express this to the wold out there. It is expected from the young society to understand the fashion trend and get engaged through social media. You can observe the multiple modes like twitter, facebook, Instagram or whatsapp through which the latest pictures of the glitterati or the personal pictures are shared. On a positive node, awareness of the latest and aligning yourself with the trend boosts the confidence of the individual. This is also good for the economy where a lot of fashion boutiques are now available in the market. Fashion, Hair Saloon, Media and fashion magazines have boosted the economy and is even considered a respectable employment option.

On the flip side, this does put a lot of unnecessary pressure on the society. We have observed bullying in school and colleges which is directed to some specific section of youth who are not well aware about fashion and are simplistic in nature. On other side, it does put economic pressure on the parents or the individual as fashion does come with a price tag and is a reflection of your spending power as well in the society. We do see extended queues in front of the exclusive brand showrooms during the sale period. In today's world buying an exclusive trendy watch or dress is setup as an expectation. We have observed shopaholic nature which qualifies as an imbalance and requires correction.

All in all, I agree that fashion though improves the personality and is a confidence booster, it should be followed with a right degree of balance.

You have an abundance of wonderful ideas in your essay! But anyways, in the formal writing i would personally avoid signs such as !? e.t.c

Another issue I have found out in your essay is your personal examples, they are missing!
Also, you are not being asked to write an opinion. You should have included your reasons in your conclusion as well. Keep up the good work!