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No unnecessary experiments on animals! Public should show responsibility. IELTS.


ChamiJaya 1 / 3 1  
Sep 1, 2015   #1
Essay question:

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including use for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer:

Some people argue that animals should have equal rights as humans and these living creatures should not be subjected to cruelty of any kind. On the other hand, other people argue that it is necessary to continue animal testing and use them for food in order to maintain survival of humans on the earth. This essay will discuss both these arguments and outline my opinion.

Animal rights advocates argue that the animals should be treated as same as people and also they have right to live as any other creatures living on the earth. For instance, animals such as rats and rabbits are being used for testing for medications and scientific researches. This type of animal exploitation has been utterly condemned by animal lovers and they criticise that humans do not have right to experiment on animals as they suffer enormously from pain. The supporters for animal rights further claim that scientists should adopt alternative methods for their researches rather than using animals who do not have a voice to convey their dissatisfaction. Furthermore, animals should be respected and their needs are to be recognised. To support this point of view, it is argued that eating meat should be banned and also the using animal part as a material such as for bags and clothes should be prohibited worldwide.

On the other hand, firstly, it could be argued that it is essential to develop medical treatments and medication through experiments for the benefit and well being of human beings. In order to achieve these advancements, it is required to carry out testing on animals as it is not possible to test on people due to costs and other regulations in place. Secondly, embracing veganism and relying on plant-based food will not be sufficient to feed people around the world.

In conclusion , I believe that the animals should only be used for experiments when it is necessary and no other method is available. Public should endorse animal welfare as to responsible use of animals as well as satisfaction of human needs.

sid052 2 / 5  
Sep 1, 2015   #2
Over all a decent essay. though you could have elaborated a bit more about each aspect giving more examples. It is like when reader develops interest the paragraph has ended for one aspect. Try including more examples and explain them if you have time.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 1, 2015   #3
I can help you improve your essay.

2nd paragraph: "Animal rights advocates argue that the animals should be treated the same as people and also they have the right to live as any other creature living on the earth."

This should be a separate sentence: and they criticize "They argue that humans do not have the right to experiment on animals, because this could cause them to suffer enormously from pain."

The next sentence delete the word further and change the remainder portion of the sentence: "...research, rather than using animals that do not have a voice to convey their dissatisfaction." Change the latter part of the next sentence "their needs are to be recognized".

Delete some words in the last sentence: "...the using animal parts as a materials such as for bags and clothes..."

3rd paragraph: Delete "firstly" I think you should delete: as it is not possible and replace this with "because it is difficult".

4th paragraph: Delete "the" before animals. The next sentence needs a change in word order. "Also, the public should endorse animal welfare as to responsible use of animals in order to use animals responsibly as well as satisfaction of satisfy human needs."
szhang25 15 / 21 8  
Sep 1, 2015   #4
"Some people argue that animals should have equal rights as humans and these living creatures should not be subjected to cruelty of any kind. On the other hand, other people argue that it is necessary to continue animal testing and use them for food in order to maintain survival of humans on the earth. This essay will discuss both these arguments and outline my opinion."

This is redundant, as the prompt already states this. This paragraph just summarizes the prompt, which is not necessary in a subjective essay. Instead, try focusing on giving a preview of your essay in your introduction paragraph, providing a quick delineation of your thesis and supporting reasons.

In your conclusion, you do restate your thesis, but it would help to summarize your arguments presented once more, for closure.
OP ChamiJaya 1 / 3 1  
Sep 1, 2015   #5
Many thanks for all your comments; much appreciated.


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