The restatement could have been cleaver. 2 seperate ideas were presented in one sentence creating a confusing presentation. As a run-on, it simply lacks proper clarity and cohesion. Use one sentence per idea. That way the required 3-5 sentences per paragraph is also met. Do not tell the examiner what the discussion instructions dre. Provide a proper, topic based thesis sentence as a part of the I to achieve a higher task score and also, create a cohesive discussion outline, which can help with the overall score boost.
Word choice error. Repercussion is a a college level noun referencing a negative effect or result, often indirect or remote, of some negative event or action. Use the term "results" instead to create a positive point and avoid confusing word presentations.
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