Any feedback would be appreciated!
Although I am unsure of my exact future study plans, many of my intellectual interests can be fulfilled in the Humanities and Arts section of the College of Arts and Sciences. Playing and learning music gives me a unique joy, so I want to be heavily involved in the music department during college. I love animals, and freshman year I wrote a ten page report on bonobos (fascinatingly human-like apes); so, both the "Primate Behavior and Ecology" and the "Humans and Animals" course seem ideal. I've discovered that the homework I always do first is English and Spanish, subjects which I hope will translate into collegiate pursuits.
I also love international students. My best friend is from Luxembourg, and in my junior year I befriended exchange students from Thailand and Germany. I was amazed by the written Thai language, surprised to learn that bagels are not actually popular around the world, and fascinated that Germans "press their thumbs" rather than cross their fingers for good luck. I adored it when they made a mistake with their English and enjoyed teaching them the English language and American culture. I feel a satisfaction and a connection with the larger world since knowing them. Besides Spanish and French classes in my high school, there are few options to explore this interest academically. Therefore, classes such as "The Comparison of Cultures" and "Cultural Diversity and Contemporary Issues" are perfect for me! I would love to be able to study not only the cultures of my international friends, but the holidays, language, history, and nuances of cultures around the world. I would utilize the departments and classes within the College of Arts and Sciences to enhance my love of varying cultures.
I am anticipating pursuing a true liberal arts education, which could include music, english, sociology, and anthropology, as well as potential new interests- including the things I haven't yet heard of. Cornell's motto says it all: I feel confident that the College of Arts and Sciences is able to provide me with every resource I need to pursue any and all of my interests. I want to bring rigor and passion to the College of Arts and Sciences and take full advantage of the breadth and depth of a Cornell education.
Your essay feels all over the place for me. It seems like you're flippantly going from one topic to another without any smooth transition.
In the first paragraph, try to connect your interests together (and going into the second). The second paragraph is good with your interest in international students showing with personal examples, but I still think it could use better organization.
Also, isn't Cornell's essay topic on how your academic interests grew and how you intend to use Cornell? I don't think you focus much on the first prompt. Expand on how your interests in a specific topic grew over time and concentrate your details on that.
Much luck to you!
I would come up with a list of your passions do you like to learn about people? create? conduct labs? What ever it is you can work that into a personalized essay to express how your own interests coincide with the academics offered within the college of Arts and Sciences. What is it you see your self doing in the future, if you are unsure you goals could simply be to discover what you want to do. If you do have a plan then talk about that.
