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Urbanization is a modern disease.

Vittal 1 / 1  
Dec 19, 2016   #1

Urbanization is a modern disease

Nowadays, people from rural area are moving to the cities which are well developed for their need and better career options but some people living in the rural place are studying and planning to urbanize the place.

In my opinion, there are two ways for every matter. People try to move to the cities for better career growth and some to get the infrastructure and the requirement for there home town.

People from different countries around the world move to the urbanized places as there to chose their career options as they don't get the required amount of infrastructure like example: for developing their computer skill they don't have the internet facilities, study class rooms etc. They even try to get involve with the people to learn discipline like respecting others, their behaviour, their living style etc. Again, different people have their own taste of learning.

At the same time, people who look forward to get better infrastructure and make their own home to be urbanized. They look forward to get better study classes, hospitalisation, banking facilities, digital utilization for betterment of people which make their time and money save.

They even try to bring the better career options for the people live in the rural place to explore their knowledge in a specific field and provide more career options which helps them to develop their own infrastructure.

In conclusion, urbanization has become a modern disease for people who are studying the requirement for their own people and making an identity around the countries or in the world.

Thank you
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,197 3645  
Dec 19, 2016   #2
Vittal, are you presenting the prompt in the first paragraph or is that part of your opening statement? Kindly provide a copy of the complete prompt requirement so that you can be better assessed in terms of the scoring band for this task. It is a bit difficult to decide on your task accuracy and grammar range scores due to the lack of prompt requirements. While the essay seems to be properly discussed, there are some grammatical issues and task accuracy questions that I have with regards to your writing. These questions that I have can only be clarified by the prompt requirements. I want to be fair in scoring you so I will withhold giving you final scores for the 4 sections until you can provide me with the accurate prompt. I will wait for it. Thanks.
OP Vittal 1 / 1  
Dec 21, 2016   #3
Holt i just want to know the correction which can be made to get IETLS Band 7
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,197 3645  
Dec 21, 2016   #4
Vittal, I would gladly show you how to reach a band score of 7 using this essay. However, I cannot do that if you do not provide me with the prompt that you are trying to respond to. The grading of the essay, per band section, is based upon the prompt requirements. I will not be able to show you how to improve this essay if you don't give me the instructions that you are being asked to follow in the discussion of the essay topic.

Kindly provide me with the complete prompt requirement as soon as you can so that I can properly assess your essay discussion for prompt responsiveness and grammar issues. You have written an acceptable essay at this point. As an ordinary essay, without scoring and knowing the prompt, I would say you did a good job.

The final verdict of the essay though, only comes after we analyze the way you presented your prompt discussion. Sorry about that. I'll wait for the prompt instructions that you were given then give you a score and advice as to how to reach a 7 band score.

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