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Use of animals for testing medicines is cruel or not ?

jayy98 1 / -  
Oct 20, 2017   #1
Some people think it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use. Others think it's cruel to do that
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

experimenting on animals

Parallel with the advance of medical , testing medicines intended for humans use is vital. To meet the requirment of doing it, we have no choice except to use animals. Nevertheless, its savagery is not approved by some people. While both sides are good at particualr aspects, it had better continue doing that.

On the one hand, all of creatures' life must be respected. Therefore, inject viruses contained diseases to animals or feed them drugs then observe their reactions, in aspect of moral is wrong. Besides, animals are regarded as best friends of human. A lot of people abandoned by their son just accompanied by their loyal dog. And animals experiment sometimes is not accurate because of the difference between some parts of animals and human.

On the one hand, some people argued that those antagonists' families have never had people is cured by drugs developed through experiment on animals. Sacrificing certain amounts of that can be justified if they can save human's life. Furthermore, the reliable and permanent alternative is not available. We have a basis to test on fauna : the resemblance between human and them such as structure cells..... and some species like rabbit, rat can be bred swiftly in laboratory.

People have differing views of animals experiment and each people have their own arguments. From my perpesctive, if we don't do that, the medicine will be stagnant , and people will suffer epidemic because of few drugs are devised

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,504 2953  
Oct 20, 2017   #2
JaYy, even though the construction of your opening paraphrase is a bit faulty, I was able to understand what you were trying to say. The grammar and sentence structure is definitely a problem throughout the essay but somehow, you got lucky and most of your sentences were understandable, with minimal stress posed on the reader. So that will be good for your score in the GRA section. It will however, pose a lower scoring consideration for you in the LR and C&C considerations.

When you write the opening paraphrase, please do not forget to include the discussion instruction in the final sentence of your paragraph. It should indicate the discussion method to be performed in order to boost your TA score. So in this instance, you should have had a final sentence that read:

In this essay, I will discuss the points of view in support of and against animal testing. I will also provide my opinion in the later part of the discussion.

By the way, the most stressful part of your essay, as I read it, was the unclear final sentence in your first paragraph. I am not really sure what its purpose is and what it is meant to accomplish.

Your discussion would probably have benefited more if you had tried to discuss only one supporting and one contradicting reason in separate paragraphs. That way you could have better explained your line of reasoning and also provided a clearer discussion pattern in the paragraph. After all , the instruction is to provide only one topic per paragraph in order to get a better C&C score.

Your conclusion is unacceptable because it discusses your personal opinion. The personal opinion is never used to closed the discussion because that offers an additional information presentation to the reader. The conclusion should only remind the reader of what the previous discussion was all about in order to help them better understand what you said in the personal opinion part of the essay paragraphs.

As for your personal opinion discussion.
pier 11 / 37 9  
Oct 20, 2017   #3
Hi jayy, I think you didn't correctly paraphrase the prompt.
You also didn't discuss two views correctly. For example, in the first paragraph, your sentences should reflect the opinion of those who think it's cruel. The same goes for the second paragraph to justify opposite view.

The first sentence of the 2nd paragraph is grammatically incorrect.
And you didn't evaluate both views to present your own opinion.

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