It is for TOEFL.
please , give me your advises and check my essay grammar.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The use of electronic mail (e-mail) makes people become better writers.
I view a time when the mail began to play a significant role in our life may date back to The Stone Age or earlier. This days, the use of one form of mail called e-mail is widespread throughout the world. As new technology has its both advantages and disadvantages, the e-mail has some defective effects to its users. But I believe that the use of e-mail has much beneficial to its writers and it makes people become better writers.
Firstly, a notable chance produced by the use of e-mail is that when we write grammatically or literarily wrong sentences or words in our mail, we can correct the mistakes instantly. There is no need to use another papers or correction tools. This chance conduce to improvement of writers' writing ability, and writers' speed to compose. For me, when I have to compose a mail to others such as my manager, friends, and families, I choose straightforwardly to use e-mail. Because I tend to make mistakes literarily and it saves my time. Furthermore, the paper mail is more complicated.
Secondly, the use of e-mail is fair essential, especially for office employees. The paper mail must be delivered by post office workers to its address. On the other hand, it means the paper mail takes much time to be delivered to its address. By contrary, the e-mail just takes few seconds to be delivered. Sometimes, the manager or employer of any company faces a need to send mail to their workers. In this case, they had better compose one e-mail which is possible to be sent to many employees again and again. In the spare time created by using e-mail instead of using paper mail, they can do their another important works.
Finally, for people whose penmanship is not good, the use of e-mail is best way. It results in cutbacks in the usage of a paper. In addition, the use of e-mail is not only for making cutbacks in expenses of papers but also, most significantly, supporting writers' composing ability and speed. It prompts the use of e-mail makes people better writers.
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As new technology has its both advantages and disadvantages, the e-mail has some defectivenegative effects toon its users.
But I believe that the use of e-mail has much beneficialmany benefitstoon its writers and it makes people become better writers.
These are some mistakes I found in your intro. Overall, it is a nice essay and organization, but you need to pay more attention on grammar and language.
I view a time when the mail began to play a significant role in our life may date back to The Stone Age or earlier.
I don't find this a catchy way to open your essay. It is always better to begin your essay with a very clear, interesting idea that provides a smart entrance to your essay.
This days,
These days / This dayAs new technology has its
both advantages and disadvantages , the e-mail
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defectivenegative effects to
its their users.
There is no need to use another papers orcorrection tools
... well, in emails too, you can use the speller checker which is a tool for correcting spelling mistakes.
The paper mail must be delivered by post office workers to its address.
The paper based mails need to be physically delivered to the recipient which takes a longer time.