Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Everyone have willingness to be happy in their life. Some people say that life happily is important for their quality of life, but to know the true definition of happiness is still difficult to figure it out. There are some factors that necessary to achieve the happiness.
First of all, happiness have vary of definition of each person. There are state that happiness is related to high level of people who occupant, wealthy, and popularity, for instance a celebrity. She or he will be happy when achieved famous and got a lot of money. In contrast, i believe that happiness is bout how to build good relationship with friends and family. In my case, happy can be resulted from how we make our parent to proud and always caring them. Then, how to keep in touch with our friends and give them our best support.
On the other hand, there are some factors that influenced of happiness. Some people say that money is the most important factor to be happy in the life. For example, they can be happy with money because they can buy luxury products such as car, jewelry, and branded clothes. But, i believe that time and love are important factors to live happily. If we have enough time we can spend time with family and we can give love to them and get happy life.
In a nutshell, happiness is the most vital part of our life. Which we have to improve and keep the factor that linked with it, such as time and love. If we use time wisely and give our love to the others happiness will there in our live.
Hi Miss Bada..
I have read your essay closely. I have held a few which you have to improve. Please, you follow patches I gave.
Some people say that life happily is important for their quality of life, but to know ...This is far from indicators as a thesis statement. It seemed as paraphrase of the question. If you wanna reach the high score, you are supposed to mention about your view about those matters. You can write two or three words to show your opinion at the thesis statement. However, those are supposed to have the same discussion in the body paragraph.Turning to the first body paragraph, you tended to review definitions of the happiness from some perspectives, whereas the question asks you to explain why the happiness is difficult to define.You have to remember that your first job in the writing task 2 is to brainstorm what you wanna write in your essay. The question should be understood deeply because it is the edge of what you will explain. Please, keep this alarm in your mind.In the second body paragraph, you created contradiction sentences, whereas the prompts only asked to show important factors to achieve the happiness. You only tell those factors to readers with explanations or supporting sentences.
But, i believe that time and love are important [...] and we can give love to them and get happy life.
Please, you pay attention to the prompts.
In a nutshell,Avoid to use it. That is used in the informal writing. You should harness (In conclusion, to conclude, or to Sum up)