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using computer influence on young children


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 12, 2009   #1
pl check for my grammar, sentence structures, thanks so much

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, computers are used in many different fields such as health, education, business, and they have also become more familiar to everyone. However, the question of whether or not there are more benefits than drawbacks for young children using a computer everyday is controversial. Personally, I obviously believe that these advantages outweigh disadvantages.

To begin with, using a computer everyday helps children can learn and upgrade their skill in using computers. When they are good using computer, they can get high marks in subjects involved using computers. They also can use some applications for education on their computer. Moreover, after finishing school, they go to working environment, they can meet requirements about this skill.

In addition, young children can learn more other things when they use computers everyday. Some of them often use computer for reading news, magazine on the internet, which help them improve reading skill as well as knowledge about the surrounding world. Some children say that they can travel all over the world from their armchairs with a computer.

However, some people consider that it is not good for children use computers everyday. They think that children often use computers for playing game, which has negative effects on children. We can deny that using computer for a long time, it is not good for eyes, backbones. Nevertheless, I think that when children play games, they can learn some things not only for entertainment. When they play game, they have to brainstorm to make plans, strategies in order to reach approaches, which help them become more creative. For me for an example, I loved racing car on my computer when I was young. When I played, I had to analyze which part of the race was good for me to run fast without accident. Also, I had to think how I combined with my partners to win others teams.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that using computer everyday brings more benefits than drawbacks for young children. The most important aspect is that what children use computers for and how they use them.

EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Oct 13, 2009   #2
computer has used

What, exactly, have computers used? Or do you meant that people have used computers? Or that computers are used by people to do something?

We can deny that using computer for a long time

Do you mean we cannot deny?

Nevertheless, I think that when children play games, they can learn some things not only for entertainment. When they play game, they have to brainstorm to make plans, strategies in order to reach approaches, which help them become more creative.

This would be more convincing if you gave an example of a specific game, and explained how it allowed children to do the things you list here.
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 13, 2009   #3
thanks so much EF_Sean!
i have just rewritten it.please check for me again? thanks so much
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Oct 13, 2009   #4
A few more suggestions for you:

"In modern society, computers are used in many different fields"

"and they have also become more familiar"

"However, the question of whether or not there are more benefits than drawbacks for young children using a computer everyday or not is controversial."

"To begin with, using a computer everyday helps children can learn and upgrade their skill in using computers.which is very important to them. "
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 13, 2009   #5
many thanks to you, EF_Sean
i will correct them.


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