Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Writing Task 2: Using Credit Cards or Loans to run up huge personal debts

Yulia Indah 4 / 6 3  
Aug 29, 2017   #1
Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this?

how to pay off big loans?

Some people rely much on credit card or loans for enormous debts, although they do not have the ability to return. It is considered to harden the procedure of individual debts. In my opinion, I completely agree that the company or banks would make harder the process of personal loans, mainly in a high percentage of money. The reasons why are would be explained in this essay.

Firstly, the enormous sums of money which are borrowed experiencing the difficulties in returning loans would influence other customers. For instance, virtually all banks or companies in America implement the Universal Default affecting other debtors in paying-off with high interest. This is a serious problem for those who want to refund both in time or passing the time limit.

Secondly, increasing the proceeding of borrowing large money would teach the spender of credit cards to be more discipline to manage a living, particularly for familial. It is not uncommon to find the financial problems because of lacking to handle family-income. Hence, the more difficult the debtors involved in loans is, the better they control the income.

I do appreciate that those who are on tight budget desiderate to use credit cards bills more than usual and are allowed to owe in huge sums of money. However, it is wiser to debt in appropriate amount than that of lacking in paying the return.

To sum up, it seems hospitable that the banks allow those who are in the financial problem to loan in the big number of money. However, the companies or banks have their own policies regarding debt limit and to raise the interest of other debtors which in fact, it is a fault who do not break the rule of payment limit.
castillope 2 / 4 1  
Aug 29, 2017   #2
All paragraphs except the first one need to be much more in depth. An informative topic sentence in each paragraph would also be extremely wise. The fourth paragraph looks and reads more like a sentence and needs to be expanded.

Consider changing some terms perhaps you could Google some more appropriate phrases to clean up your essay.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,447 4693  
Aug 29, 2017   #3
Yulia, this is one of the worst essays that you have written so far. The incoherence of your paragraphs in this essay are astounding. What happened to you? Did you not fully understand the prompt requirements? Do you lack any personal or popular information regarding the given topic? There has to be a reason as to why you would produce such a problematic essay presentation. As I repeatedly reviewed your essay, it seems to me that the problem is related to your grammar range and accuracy. Although you are ill prepared to begin writing complex sentences and paragraphs, you attempted to do just that in this essay. Doing so resulted in a difficult to understand presentation that caused undue stress on the reader. The paragraphs only make intermittent sense instead of total sense. You need to remain conscious of one standard piece of information when you are writing English essays. You cannot think in your native language and then try to translate the same into English. Coupled with a desire to increase your GRA score, you ended up with an essay that would not score higher than a 2. The main reason for that overall score is that you do not have any control over word formation, the message of the paragraphs remain unclear, and you have shown very little organizational control over the development of your presented paragraphs. If you write this way in the actual setting, you will definitely fail the test.

Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: Using Credit Cards or Loans to run up huge personal debts