This is the first time I've written an academic essay. Could you help me examine my writing skill?
I wonder how to improve writing skill. Before writing this essay, I read some articles on the Internet to have more ideas and topic vocabulary. I'm worried that I might have been uncontrolled and copied their styles. Could you help me avoid infecting other styles?
Thanks a lot for reading my essay.
It's awesome to find out this place!!
ALTERNATIVE RESOURCES OF ENERGY
Topic: Fossil fuels (coal, oil and natural gas) are the main sources in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In the industrial era, scientists are warning about the demand of a mass energy resources for generating machines and factories is seemingly overtaken the fossil fuels we have in Earth. The running out of traditional resources are leading to the rise of many renewable resources in some nations in which energy from sunlight and wind are significantly playing important role. I mostly agree that the new trend in using alternative source of power is an indisputable development although there are some obstacles for human to extract these kinds of energy sources. I will give more detailed explanation in this essay.
It is easy to see that while other power resources are limited, these renewable generations such as solar and wind energy are eternal and sustainable. In some way, we can implicitly consider that their derivations from sun and wind are infinitive power, providing energy without decrease in supply. Besides, in some resource-poor countries where traditional fossil fuels is ensured by importation, the investment in clean energy is one of the most important priorities to reduce their alliances on foreign countries for supply of oil and gas.
Regarding environment, no one could deny the importance of renewable energy in the fight against climate change. Renewable sources trigger little or almost no pollution compared to combusting conventional sources which annually eliminate emissions such as carbon dioxide and by-products of fossil fuels. As global temperatures are rising progressively, squandering these resources directly exacerbates the current situation. Air pollution also triggers respiratory diseases such as asthma, lung problems, eyesight issues and more. Consecutively, optimizing the clean energy allows us all to breathe fresher air.
Alternative resources are seemingly perfect substitutes for the deficit of energy nowadays. But what's the catch? Due to the dependence of clean energy on weather, human could not take the initiative to produce these kinds of energy and sequentially economic growth would be affected. Many developing countries which is focusing on industrial development have to deliberate thoroughly whether to utilize renewable resources on large scale. In addition, it will cost a high initial expenses to build manufacture.
While I mostly agree that utilizing alternative sources is an irreversible decision to build a sustainable economy and society, I recognize that there are still many hurdles governments have to confront in order to extract these new forms of energy. Scientists, economists, policy-makers ought to make a concerted endeavor to renovate these kinds of energy for long-term purpose.@banhdauxanh
Hi there. I would like to give you some feedback about your writing. 😁
As I read through your writing, it is sort of messy and non-structured. If you free time, please search the main points writing structures of your IELTS wrting task 2.
First of all, for your introduction, it should include the general statement, rephrase viewpoint or problem and state your specific question.( I think the positives outweigh the negatives or the negatives outweigh the positives)
Second, in your body paragraph, you just put all the information together and did not make it structured. It will make your reader feel your writing is so lengthy. I would like to suggest you that you can write the topic sentence which declare the reason why first and then explain your reasons. Giving an example after explanation then write a short summary of your idea in your body paragraph.
Last but not least, the conclusion. I suggest you should write down "in summary " or "to sum up" to remind your readers here is the conclusion. It is a very important part of your IELTS taks 2 writing. Bear in mind that in your conclusion you just need to restate your opinion with 2 reasons and do not add any other new idea in your conclusion.
Hope my suggestion may help your future writing.😁😁
