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A Vacation with the Family in Israel.


fridno 1 / -  
Jun 16, 2011   #1
Essay on A Vacation with the Family in Israel

Spent a good Vacation with my family in Israel, it were the most amazing time we have ever spent together. As we were entering to the city, the Israelite welcomed us with so many souvenirs. The play music makes us feels so special and welcomes.

The next day when we were awaked, Mom and Dad decided to go to the prayer wall. This was so cute on the prayer wall there were a lot of paper that people all over the world, bring to find helped. In that atmosphere you can feel that there was something supernatural there.

When we get to the hotel Mon and Dad that decide to go to see Christ tomb and when as soon as we come close to the tombs, "I was checking that how",! It was full of correction and gifts.

The same afternoon there was a soccer games. Israel and Cuba was! Playing everyone in the house Went for Israel expert Dad since Cuba Is, is favorites team he decided to for went for Cuba.

"I like how the game was going, when Israel soccer the first goal", my dad got real quiet. When Israel won the games my dad "said" we were lucky, we know it was no luck because pretty was hard for them to win the game.

The next day we decided to go to the rivers. "OH, My, Gosh", it was so spectacular; the breezes were fabulous the water was clear, even if you drooped a penny on the water you would find it.

I love the water; because it was not to cold, or nor to hot. The view was spectacular, I felt that I was truly on a vacation; I wish I can brought the type of atmospheres home with us.

Two day later we decided to visit their church. The churches are ways different from ours church. How we worshiping and, how the way they worship was not quit the same. I left but my spirit always reminded me of the good time that I spent with my family.

throllen 5 / 13  
Jun 17, 2011   #2
Em.. your conclusion... can be more developed? here you still talk about your trip, yet you end it right away.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jun 18, 2011   #3
This sentence needs a SUBJECT:
Spent a good Vacation with ...
It needs to be like this:
I spent a good...

and do not capitalize the word vacation!

...my family in Israel, and it were was the most amazing time we have ever spent together. --------Awesome!!!

As we were entering to the city, the Israelites welcomed us with so many souvenirs. The play music makes us feels so special and welcomes.

The next day when we were awaked, woke up, Mom and Dad decided to go to the prayer wall.

This was so cute; on the prayer wall there were a lot of papers that people from all over the world had brought to find help.

Use 's:
... to go to see Christ's tomb, and as soon as we came close to the tombs, "I was checking that how!"-----???? I don't know what you mean here.

The next day we decided to go to the rivers. "Oh my gosh!" It was so spectacular; the breezes were fabulous, and the water was clear, even if you drooped a penny on the water you would find it.

Two days later ...
:-)


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