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Essay about a valuable life lesson that you have

sujujun 1 / 2  
Dec 26, 2009   #1
Hi! this is a essay for my english class. The question is to write about a valuable life lesson that you have learned.

I know that i had many grammar problems so can someone kindly correct my essay and gives suggestions to improve my essay. Thank You So Much!!

I had not once learned valuable lessons in life. One of the life lessons that I learned is to be thankful and appreciate for those that around me. Maybe it is true that we do not appreciate what we had until we lost them and there are moments in life that when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them out from your dream and hug them for real. I did not experience these until my grandmother passed away.

My grandmother was the one that watches me grow up and takes care of me when I was a little girl because my parents had to work and were away from home. She loved me so much that she would do anything for me but I did not realize this until she passed away. Since she was the only adult at home she had to do all the household chores and takes care of me at the same time. Everyday after school, she would wait for me at the doorway and asks me what I wanted to eat for lunch and she would cook the food for me immediately. Every times when I go out to play with my friends she would asks me where I was going and when I'm going to be home, so that she knows when to prepare the dinner for me. As I grow older, I started to hate the way that she waits for me everyday at the doorway and asks me where I was going. I told her that I am older now and that she doesn't have to treat me like a little girl anymore. However, she continued to act the same way as usual. One day when I came home from school and saw her standing there waiting for me, which I did not expected, I was very angry and had a big argument with her. I yelled at her and told her that I am older now and that I do not need her anymore. She did not say anything to me and I ran out the house. I came home very late that night and walk up to my room quietly. I was surprised to find a bow of rice and two plates of dishes on the table in my room. I did not eat the food and dump the whole thing into the trash can. The next morning I woke up early and went to school without saying anything to her.

Two months later my parents decided to immigrate to America. My mother told me that my grandmother said that she did not wanted to go with us to America because she felt that she is too old and would just be an encumbrance for the family. I was depressed that I had to leave the place where I grew up but at the same time I was glad that my grandmother is not leaving with us. In the airport on the day that I was leaving, she told me to take care of myself when I get there and it is the first time that I saw her cried. I wanted to cry too when I saw the tears rolling down from her face, but I turn my head away and did not even say good bye to her. After arrived in America, I was occupied with learning English and did not call home to her even though I heard from my parents that she became really sick after we left. I remember that it was on a cold December day when I heard the news from my parents that my grandmother had passed away. After hearing the news, I can not help it and the tears continue to roll down from my face. In my heart, I felt that something that is always there is suddenly gone and I can not stop crying.

Four years had passed since my grandmother passed away. Every time when I look at her pictures, the tears just begin to roll down from my face. I felt very regret for never apologize to her for the argument that we had and all the strong words that I had said to her. I felt very regret for never thank her for all the things that she had done for me. If, I had another chance, I would tell her that "I love you grandma."

dayae21 2 / 9  
Dec 26, 2009   #2
Overall, your essay sounds very honest and heartfelt, and I lovej how you use specific details/events in your life to help the reader really understand the relationship between you and your grandmother.

I think you should add a couple concluding sentences that talk about how you have changed from this experience and how you plan to apply the life lesson in your future.

Hope I helped! I'm guessing that you haven't lived in America for very long.. I totally understand your pain of learning English, because I went through the exact same thing too! X)

Well, but once again, I want to compliment you on the overall clear & honest message in your essay. But the more you look at it and revise it, your essay will get even better and better. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU! :D
Keng 39 / 134  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
what are types of your writing?

Narrative, descriptive, explanation or just a storyline.

I think you write the essay by using your native language styles.

Try to use complex, compound and simple so that the essay will be more concise.

Here are my suggestions

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