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"Why do we not value the creative arts more than we do?" SAT October 2010: Essay


Dawn01 19 / 33  
Jun 30, 2015   #1
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

Why do we not value the creative arts more than we do? Why are subjects like music, drama, photography, and creative writing always the first to be cut from school budgets during hard times? Many would answer that, unlike math, science, history, and other subjects taught in school, the arts are unnecessary. But this is so untrue. The arts are as necessary as these other subject areas-possibly even more necessary.

Assignment:

Is it absolutely necessary for people to study the creative arts? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

MY ESSAY:
Arts are the spirit of education; it's the core of a well-structured formation. Throughout history, philosophy and social studies one can assert that creative ats illuminate emotions and promotes an in-depth analysis of reality as much as scientific subjects such as Math, Biology and Physics.

First and Foremost, Arts shapes people's consciousness. Painting for example, depicts a panorama of social classes, its dreams, its concerns and its aspirations. Delacroix art work "Freedom Leading People" give an unmeasured pride to French people. It exemplifies the persistence of a people who snatch its freedom from the claws of dictatorship. After the revolution, French people gained a sense of art and romance by studying meticulously arts. Such approach helps them clamber out of the box and build a close-knit society where democracy is making giant strides, nowadays.

Indeed, I believe that creative art is a clear indicator of free-thinking and liberalism.
In fact, a community, where art is censured or regressed, could be at the verge of a social unrest, regarding that arts are necessary for people's mental, moral and even economic prosperity.

In a world where money , power and material things are all what matter, arts, such as Drama and music, turn to be the only elixir to people's greed, foolishness and vanity. Arts discuss one's inner morals, ethics and principles so that it will be possible for a responsible and a mature person to analyze, revise and criticize himself in order to build a new person who rise from ash and dust and choose the path of truth , honesty and love.

Also, Arts are cathartic, relives the stress and purify soul .By tinkering piano's keys, one can express himself and pop out his anger. By reading a literature book, one can explore new worlds and feed his imagination.

The creative arts allow people to get rid of tension and to pour emotions out, which are potentially crucial in modern world, the cold jungle of cement and concrete.

Grade My Essay out of 6

lightfox 3 / 27 24  
Jul 1, 2015   #2
Not a bad essay. I like the contents you provided. Of course, my main problem is that you're always capitalizing and pluralizing art and singling out nouns that need to be plural. Art is not quantifiable. Hence, saying "arts" just makes things sound awkward.
OP Dawn01 19 / 33  
Jul 1, 2015   #3
I used the word"creative arts" because it's cited in the assignment I thought that it's fine.
Thanks lightfox ! I really appreciate your help. But I wonder if you can grade my essay out of 6
Eric2750230 7 / 11 6  
Jul 3, 2015   #4
This is a great essay to me but there seems to be a lot of grammatical mistakes. The essay is well argued and laconic. It flows from the top to bottom well. I think you need to work more on paragraphing. You should have kept a space between the introduction and the first example.

I would like to grade this essay 4 and thanks for correcting one of my essays and i would like you to grade my essay out of 6 as well, along with the mistakes that you found in my essay.
lightfox 3 / 27 24  
Jul 4, 2015   #5
I'm gonna grade this essay a 4, too. You definitely gave a good example to support your point early in the essay, but you made some serious grammatical mistakes that I addressed along with poor word choices, which ultimately hurt your contents of the essay. You didn't provide any examples that show that art can be either an elixir or cathartic. As soon as you were done talking about one aspect of the art, you immediately jumped towards another aspect of it, ultimately only being brief about both the aspects instead of being detailed on just one of them. Thus, I recommend that you be more detailed about one of them and give proper examples to illustrate your point before you talk about another aspect of the art.
OP Dawn01 19 / 33  
Jul 5, 2015   #6
Thanks lightfox !!! Your insights are straightforward and suitable for me. I will take them into consideration.


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