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Value of Education; Which education do you believe is most important?


ttsao88 1 / -  
Sep 22, 2013   #1
Prompt: Which education do you believe is most important; the education you received inside the school system, or the education you received outside the school system? Why? Write an essay in which you explain your point of view. Use specific examples, reasons, and details to develop and support your position. Use the Jane Schaffer writing format to write a minimum of four paragraphs.

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Edward Gibbons once commented, "Every man who rises above the common level has received two educations: the first from his teachers; the second, more personal and important, from himself." The education obtained from teachers is the things done for school, like homework, projects, and tests. The more personal education is the experience or the application of knowledge learned. Education from school gives the greatest benefits.

At school, teachers assign due dates for homework and projects. For example, most homework teachers give is due the next day. By giving students a time restraint on when something should completed, this develops a sense of responsibility in students. Students learn that their first priority when they return home is to finish their homework, not to watch television or play. Another example is projects, which have longer time periods for students to complete it. Projects allow for students to carefully plan out their time and helps them develop time management; that way students don't procrastinate and work on the assignment at the last minute. Sometimes projects are done in groups and that allows for students to learn how to collaborate with others. Responsibility, time management, and cooperation are all skills that are needed to succeed at any job.

Tests and quizzes are frequently given at school. An incentive from studying for tests and quizzes is improvement in memory. By reviewing notes or making flashcards to remember the information taught in class, students are constantly working their brains to store the material. Developing a better memory will better prepare students for jobs where they need to recall special dates, like a meeting or when a proposal is due. Another reward from studying for tests and quizzes is being prepared. In order to excel on a test or quiz the person needs to know the information on there, and this instructs a person on how to be prepared. Preparation is imperative for jobs because a person will be able to walk into a meeting with all the material that needs to be discussed. These two qualities, good memory and preparation, establish a strong foundation for real life jobs.

At times, school might seem boring and useless; however it does have positive effects on our lives. School teaches people about responsibility, how to manage time efficiently, improves memory, and helps people become more prepared. Without the skills that come from the work we do in school, we would never be able to face the realities of the outside world.

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My teacher has already told me that my essay could be stronger if I made my thesis more arguable and my topic sentences stronger. He also suggested that I make sure my commentaries are strong. I have already edited this essay, but I was wondering if I could do anything else to improve it. Can anyone help me please? Thanks! :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Sep 23, 2013   #2
The education obtained from teachers is the things done for school, like homework, projects, and tests.

This sentence sounds weak compared to your grand start.


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