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IELTS Writing task 1 the value of one country's exports (bar chart and table)


phaarteent68 1 / -  
Oct 29, 2020   #1
PLease give feedback to my essay.

statistics of main exported products



The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category or exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

ielts-simon.com/.a/6a0120a5bb05d8970c0240a4ce9596200d-pi

The bar chart and graph give information about the value of five main exported products in one country in both years 2015 and 2016.
It is undeniable that the earnings from all but one of five categories reported have increased during 2015 and 2016. While petroleum products contributed most to the country's income in both years shown, textiles experience the greatest growth in value.

We can see clearly in the graph that most of the country's export earnings came from petroleum and engineered products. The value of these goods went up by 3% and 8.5% respectively but exporting petrol still brought the highest profit to the country's economy from 2015 to 2016.

During both years reported, agricultural products seemed to see the least growth in value, with a 0.81% increase since 2015. By contrast, exported earnings from textiles rose rapidly with a recorded 15.24% increase. When compared to those products above, there was a 5.18% decline in the value of gems and jewelry.


(163 words)
ngocmaing 3 / 6 2  
Oct 31, 2020   #2
I would fix some small mistakes in grammar like these:
1, "in one country in both years 2015 and 2016."
2, "can clearly see"
3, "textiles experienced the greatest growth...
These are just small details but they are all related to grammar accuracy which cost a lot of points. You can write shortly, and use simple vocabulary but grammar accuracy must always be in point. And a variety of grammar structures can help you gain more points.


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