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The value of one's country exports - IELTS - CAM 14


namdang98 1 / -  
Sep 22, 2020   #1

Export earnings (2015-2016)



The given diagram demonstrates the value of one's country exports in five categories and the percentage change in each category of exports between 2015 and 2016

Overall, there is an upward trend could be seen in the Petroleum products. A similar pattern could be observed in engineered goods, agricultural products, and textiles, while gems and jewellery tended to slightly decrease over the timeframe.

In 2005 petroleum products was the highest of all five sectors, standing at over 60 billion, followed by an increase by 3% in 2016. The figure for engineered goods go up from more than 55 billion in 2015 to nearly 62 billion in 2016, this difference was about 8.5% over a course of 1 year.

On the other hand, the export earnings from germs and jewellery were approximately 43 billion, this number had declined modestly to over 40 billion by 2016. During the period shown, the change in the money earned by exporting agricultural commodities was considerable, as it climbed by 15.24% from about 25 billion in 2015. By contrast, the figure for agricultural tended to trivial increase, as it was almost stable at over 30 billion in each year. One more useless thread title = ban



Eabc 4 / 9 1  
Sep 22, 2020   #2
@namdang98
In the third para, there is a grammatical error , 'products was' should be written as ' products were'. This is because 'products' word is plural and should be followed with 'were'.

OR can be written as 'petroleum products category was'.

This is my personal opinion not an expert one. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Sep 23, 2020   #3
You have not accurately recognized the images provided. You only mis-identify one of the two images. The two images are a bar graph in relation to export earnings and, a 2 column chart identifying the percentage change in values. This makes your information presentation inaccurate, incomplete, and questionable. When you discuss the information in each paragraph, you should identify which of the 2 images the information comes from. Remember, the audience will not have access to the images. At least, that is the implication for the Task 1 essay. So for each paragraph, find a creative way of referring to the image before the information to allow the reader to understand that the information presented is coming from a different image. Otherwise, your presentation becomes confusing. Which is exactly what happened in this presentation.


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