Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

the values of artists in era of modern technology

success1901 1 / -  
Apr 27, 2023   #1
In Today'S World Of Advanced Science And Technology, We Still Greatly Value Our Artists Such As Musicians, Painters And Writers. What Can Arts Tell Us About Life That Science And Technology Cannot?

These days, although modern technology has dominated most handicrafts, many masterpieces of musicians, painters, and authors are still invaluable and play an important role in human life. It is the art of teaching people so many worth lessons that science and technology are not able to do.

First of all, art gives messages that help people respect and love their life. By personal experience, artists will recreate real life in their works. In contrast to some artists who love romance, others want to give the poor lives of many people such as those who are disabled or people living in the slums. Then they will show their view points or feelings and give a message. As a result, art helps people escape from their miserableness and make their lives better. Les Misérables of Victor Hugo described many types of people who had different lives. The main character was sentenced to prison because of stealing a piece of bread for a girl. Another character is Fantine, the female worker, who had to buy her hair, and teeth to find her daughter; however, she had died before seeing her daughter. The author wants to talk to readers that they should love their lives because there are many more miserable lives in our society.

Secondly, while science benefits our physical lives, art enriches our spiritual lives and makes people understand the beauty of culture. Ancient drawings may show people beautiful places where people were born and grew up or music gives people to think about traditional customs which has attached people since they were young. People will express their love for their culture and make contributions to maintain this culture.

Despite the convenience of advanced technology, people can not deny that artists are dedicated to making human life better. Not only does art provide valuable messages but it also makes mental lives colorful and teaches us how to preserve our culture
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691  
Apr 29, 2023   #2
The opening statement does not help the reader understand what the writer is actually driving at as the central topic of the essay. He has not chosen the correct English vocabulary that would allow him to relay his thoughts with clarity. His thesis statement is flawed as well since it fails to meet the response requirements to the questions being asked. As an introduction to the topic, the reader will find himself confused by the references being made by the writer. His presentation lacks a clear premise.

By personal experience

You are therefore referring to yourself as an artist of sorts. Therefore, the referencing in this paragraph must come from the first point of view with the correct pronouns being used to clearly indicate your personal interaction with the said subject.

The writer has tried his best to reflect his personal insight into the discussion and offer the reader his own analysis and opinion of the given subject. However, his misuse of English words has prevented him from achieving that target.

Home / Writing Feedback / the values of artists in era of modern technology