Hi all, I am intend to take the TOEFL Test in this year and here is my first essay writing
Please give me your feedback :)
Topic:
Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Writing:
Whether learning about the past has any value for those who are living in the present is a provocative topic. Some people hold the idea that this learning is totally worthless because they think that it is better to let the past "rest in peace". However, in my opinion, learning about the past is necessary for the following reasons: it can shorten the time we spend to get knowledge; it helps us to avoid the mistakes in our lives; and it inspire us in our daily lives
Learning about the past can help us to shorten ...
wraith
Writing:
Whether learning about (from) the past has any value for those who are living in the present is a provocative topic. Some people hold the idea that this learning is totally worthless because they think that it is better to let the past "rest in peace". However, in my opinion, learning about the past is necessary for the following reasons: it can shorten the time we spend to get knowledge; it helps us to avoid the mistakes in our lives; and it inspire us in our daily lives
Learning about the past can help us to shorten the time for getting knowledge. The human knowledge was accumulated through many generations. Each generation inherits the knowledge from precedents, decants, improves it and bequeaths to their posterities. By getting knowledge from ancestors, a teenager now can have the knowledge equivalent to a savant in the past If people always oppose the knowledge of ancestors, humanity cannot have such improved society, they would still live in cave as our far-far forefathers.
Moreover, learning about the past helps us to avoid the mistakes in our lives. In the past, there are so many man-made catastrophes such as World Wars or atomic bombardments. By examining carefully the causes of these cataclysms, human can preclude both the profound and immediate causes of man-made calamities, therefore humanity can avoid suffering (from) these disasters.
Furthermore, past can also inspire us in our nowadays lives. There are many people in the past who are the mirror(?) of personality. For example, in our (where r u? more specific) country's history, there is a story about a very poor student who has (had)not enough money to buy (a) lamp. To have the light for learning, he must catch some fire-flies and confined them in egg's shell. Eventually, he became a very famous scholar in our country. His mirror has inspired many people in our country and impelled us to work harder and harder in any situation.
From the above discussed reasons , I strongly affirm that treasuring the value of past is a must with us since it can inspire us in daily lives, shorten our getting knowledge time and help us to avoid the mistakes
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A really good essay both agurments and language usage, however, some small mistakes should be improved :)
Hi all, I am intending to take the..
...and it inspires us in our daily lives.
Learning about the past can help us to shorten the time it takes to get knowledge.
The Human knowledge was accumulated through many generations.
Furthermore, the past can also inspire us in our nowadays contemporary lives.
From the above discussed reason, I strongly affirm that treasuring the value of past is a must with us since it can inspire us in our daily lives, shorten our getting knowledge expedite learning, and help us to avoid the mistakes.
I agree, this is a great argument. You have a great vocabulary and interesting sentence structure. Spend time reading English aloud, because that it the only way to really figure out when to use "the" and other strange things. You are fluent, now, so fine-tune your skill.
:-)
