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Writing IELTS task 1 - the variation in types of food which, were consumed by Europian people


tramanh 1 / 1  
Jan 15, 2019   #1

consumption of fish and meat in Europe



The line graph illustrates the variation in types of food which, were consumed by Europian and how these Europe figures differed during a 5- year period from 1919 to 2004

It is clear that the amount of beef, lamb, and fish decreased, despite fluctuations, over the period shown, while much smaller of fish had been consumed in comparison with the other three kinds of meat

In 1979, around 225 grams per week was consumed, in comparison with over 50 grams of fish and roughly 150 grams of chicken and lamb. The amount of poultry rose dramatically, peaking at around 225 grams per week over the next 15 years. By contrast, the figures for beef and lamb dropped erratically to 200 grams and 75 grams respectively. Furthermore, the trend of fish went up and down slightly as it hovered around 50 grams until the middle of the 1990s

In the period between 1994 and 2004, a decrease was recorded for consuming three of the four types of food, whereas poultry rose enormously. By 2004, it is thought that around 250 grams of chicken were consumed, while the figures for beef and lamb were much lower, hitting a low of 100 units and 75 grams. However, fish was the least commonly used food in the European country with only about 60 grams

Hope to hear feedback of everyone! Thank you

Jean145 3 / 5  
Jan 15, 2019   #2
The overall content of the writing piece is fine, except for a few grammatical errors:

"variation in types of food which, were consumed by Europian" = "various types of food consumed by citizens of a European country"
" how these Europe figures differed during a 5- year period" = "how these figures have changed in 5 years"
"while much smaller of fish had been consumed" = "while fish was consumed in smaller amounts"
"until the middle of the 1990s" = "until the mid-90s"
"a decrease was recorded for consuming three of the four types of food" = "a decrease in consumption was recorded for three of the four types of food"

"whereas poultry rose enormously" = "with the exception of poultry which saw an exponential increase"
"it is thought that around 250 grams of chicken were consumed" = "roughly 250 grams of chicken were consumed"
"hitting a low of 100 units and 75 grams" = "dropping drastically to 100 units and 75 grams respectively"
"fish was the least commonly used food" = "fish was consumed the least"

That's about it for my feedback. Hope that helps.

Would really appreciate it if you could comment on mine too!
OP tramanh 1 / 1  
Jan 15, 2019   #3
"a decrease was recorded for consuming three of the four types of food" = "a decrease in consumption was recorded for three of the four types of food"

thank you for your help, it's very useful for me


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