Hallo guys.. please help me to correct and give suggestion about my conclusion of writing task 2. I really need your explanation especially about subject verb agreement or the paraphrasing word that appropiate. Thank you so much before.
Modern children are suffering from the disease that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
To sum up, it is believed bad habit of children often eat junk food and less exercise are the main problems which cause obesity. Parents should take an action to pay attention on meal nutrition which is consumed by children. They also must force their child to keep fit with doing sports routines.
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
All in all, Working in early age will lead children to have precious experience. However, I believe it unsuitble for them because they should have childhood with fun and concentrate on their study.
Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils while other schools have a very relaxed dress code.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?
In conclude, the advantages of using uniform at school are students will have identity and it makes them more safe. There is no difference on their status between reach and poor students. However, the drawbacks of this code are they cannot show their characters with their clothing and the cloth of uniform makes student uncomfortable.
An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies of shopping online?
To sum up, the advantages of shopping online are indirect activities for communication and payment thus it safes the time. This transaction also easy to conduct without limited by place and time. While, the drawbacks are the risk of fraud between buyer and the owner of online shop and fatigue because they have to look on gadget regularly.
In many parts of the world, people are choosing to have fewer children. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?
To sum up, highly needs for meal, health and school completely for the children lead people more likely to have not many children. The result of it on civilization, inhabitants will be more selfish because they do not learn about togetherness and less of human resources.
To sum up, it is believed (that)bad habit of children ofteneating too much junk food and ...
... to pay attention on(to) meal nutrition(nutrietnts ) which is(are) consumed by children.
... force their children to keep fit with doing sports routines.
(regularly)
Hi Beauty17, let me give several notes, perhaps useful for you.
1.To sum up, it is believed that bad habit of children who often eat junk food ... ---> you have a problem in making complex sentences. you have 4 verbs but only have 1 connector, so you need to add other 2 connectors because there is 4 verbs, you need 3 connectors.
2.unsuitble---> unsuitable ( miss spelling word)
3.In conclude, the advantages of using uniform at school are students will have identity and it makes them more safe. There is no difference on their status ...---> In conclude, using a uniform at school makes student more noticeable and safe.
Hi, these are my thought towards your conclusion
To sum up, it is believed that bad habit of children who often eat junk food ( children often eating junk food) and less exercise are ...
... action to pay attention onto meal nutrition which ...
... their child to keep fit withby doing sports routines.
However, I believe it unsuitbleunsuitable for them because they should have childhood with funfun childhood and concentrate on their study.
... with their clothing and the cloth of uniform makes student uncomfortable.
i hope it helpful , thanks and good luck
