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Vehicle-free days in an urban center : do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? - IELTS task 2

dhuyen135 1 / -  
Dec 24, 2018   #1
Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportations like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

prohibition of private cars in a strict urban center

Vehicle-free days on which private vehicles are not allowed and public transport modes are suggested in the urban center are now observed in many cities around the world. From my point of view, this practice brings more benefits than drawbacks.

Undoubtedly, private cars in many cases offer greater convenience compared to taking bus. While public transportation is limited with particular available time and routes, its private counterpart allows people to go wherever and whenever they want with no restrictions. Having a personal vehicle also means saving time waiting for the next bus or train to come and for other people to get off at their stops. Some high profile individuals such as busy executives, directors and agents may not welcome the challenges of using the subway because they rely on cars for their own security as well as that of valuable equipment they carry to meetings.

Nevertheless, the benefits of a car-free day to the greater society is a day with less traffic congestion, a greener environment and improved security. Car prohibition helps reduce congestion which will enable public transport to move faster between stops. It also means that citizens' and their property's safety will increase due to roads not being overcrowded. Furthermore, if more buses and trains being used instead of private cars, which means a lot of people ride in the same vehicle, the carbon emissions per head will be largely reduced. Therefore, the air quality will improve significantly, not to mention decreased gasoline demand.

Some people may think just a single odd day doesn't make much difference, then another important consideration is a change in mindset that vehicle-free days could bring about. Since using public transportation not only is much cheaper and safer but also gives travelers free time during their commute, going through a day without a car will be a real-life demonstration to prove that cars aren't always necessary. By breaking the habit of reliance on private cars people would become more open and receptive to new ways of moving around.

In conclusion, although the prohibition of private cars may initially be seen as inconvenience and prompt a negative reaction, for the reasons of many benefits to human beings in a long term, it seems necessary to promote vehicle-free days.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,542 2969  
Dec 26, 2018   #2
Huyen, believe me when I tell you that this essay is extremely long for a Task 2 test. If you use a timer, you will see that you cannot accomplish more than 275-300 words within the allotted time frame, without losing valuable time for editing. You are also creating an unnecessary amount of run on sentences in your paragraphs, which created this extra long, but necessarily well written essay. There are several problems in your presentation that can affect your final score.

The use of contractions such as "don't" are not allowed in academic writing. In order to show your knowledge of sentence structure and English grammar rules, use the formal presentation words such as "does not". The same goes for "aren't" which should be "are not".

Now, the essay asks the question "To what extent..." Therefore, you cannot simply say "From my point of view..." Rather, the correct response, which requires a degree of measurement is "I fully support the idea that this practice has more positive contributions than negative". Remember to use paraphrasing all the way with synonym usage a big part of your LR and TA scoring.

This is only a 4 paragraph essay that should be presented solely from your point of view based on a single opinion / comparison discussion. The "some people" discussion is out of place since this is not a 5 paragraph dual point of view with personal opinion essay.
Lily Potter 2 / 5 1  
Dec 26, 2018   #3
Public transportations ... are advised.

Vehicle-free days ... are now observed in many cities ...

I think "advised" has different meaning with "observed", you may use "suggest"

If I were you I will use this sentence as paraphrasing the statement

Some cities more suggest to use public transportation and they have car-free day where the private vehicle is forbidden to pass in the down town.
sillyman2000 19 / 42 9  
Dec 27, 2018   #4
Hi. Your essay is well-written with clear reasons and sentences. As the Contributor said, I want to emphasize for you the importance of writing "short but sweet", as your essay is too long. If I were you I would not write the second paragraph, instead, I would directly jump into explaining why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which are your 3rd and 4th paragraph. Also, I am puzzled of what you were trying to articulate here in the topic sentence: "Some people may ... days could bring about". I would write:" Some people may doubt the accuracy of the odd-even rationing, so there should be a change in the mindset of the public to the greater benefits of this method could bring about.

Some minor mistakes:
... lot of people ride commute in ...
air quality will beimproved significantly

Hope my small advice can help you with your writing.

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