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IELTS essay- Video games - Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?


skynet0512 2 / 5  
Jan 7, 2013   #1
This is the second time I post my essay on this forum. This one is also an IELTS essay. I know it is familiar with many people, but please feel free to leave comments. Highly appreciate those who contributes comments to mine.

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Do you agree or disagree with this?

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MY ANSWER
It is true that the popularity of video games, which is the great outcome of modern technologies and games industry in particular, is undeniable. While many people suppose that video games help players earn a great deal of valuable knowledge and skills, I personally think that the drawbacks of games are greater.

The thought that playing games will educate players effectively are attractive for several reasons. Firstly, a number of today's games has a certain context, normally originated from the real stories. Accordingly, it requires most players to have a certain amount of social knowledge before applying such knowledge into games and becoming winners. Secondly, the benefits can be found when all gamers try to progress through levels in games, which encourages creativity, logical thinking and problem-solving skills. These skills are undeniably of great help if gamers are aware of how to apply them into their real lives.

However, it is my belief that spending times on play games are more likely to result in negative effects on gamers, both mentally and physically. Granted, those who are addicted to games usually find more difficulties to communicate with the world than others. It is because that high addiction to games, in fact, has transported players into the gaming context rather than encouraging face-to-face meetings or social activities. Besides, game players are very likely to be vulnerable to a number of diseases ranging from obesity to heart attack as a result of gaming effects. Finally, video games also leads to poorer academic performance of young players if most of their time are spent to think about how to be awarded more points in games.

In short, I firmly commit to the notion that the disadvantages of playing games are greater than the advantages. Gamers, and children in particular, will fail to secure their future if their gaming activities dominate their lives.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 7, 2013   #2
It is true that the popularity of video games, which is the great outcome of modern technologies and games industry in particular, is undeniable.

This opening sentence neither means anything important nor it does introduce your topic to the reader. The highlighted sections mean more or less the same and hence make one another redundant. My suggestion;

The popularity of video games increases day by day and hour by hour. Though it is undeniable that video games are a great outcome of modern advanced technology, I believe they are capable of having serious negative impacts on our society.


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