Video games are very popular with children, but what about parents?

the effects of video games

As a teenager, I used to be a child who loved playing games. However, when I grew up, I realised the effects of video games on children and understand the reason why parents always dislike it. It's true that many parents try their best to keep video games away from their babies because they read thousands of article about the negative sides of playing games. They started to feel the same with their children. Their lovely child, their babies appear to be isolated with the rest of the world, they only focus on their phones, computers. Kid then try to ignore all the thoughts, speechs of their parents. Games make them become more violent, bad-tempered, naughty people. In addition, games can be addicted, so parents usually worry that their children will become crime, doing anything even illegal actions to fulfill their desire playing games, for example rob the bank to have money buying apps' features. On the other hand, game can be a very effective relaxing tool. Playing games with limited time speding helps children to make themselves comfort and enlarge the imagination. Nowadays, games are not entertaining products, they can be a network to connect people around the world. Gamers can have friends who share the same hobby with them. With the development of the society, children who wants to become professional gamer can also make end meet from it. In short, according to my opinion, playing games can also have positive and negative effects depending on the way people think about it. Even though it is very harmful and can be addicted, they are good ways to entertain if children play them under supervision of parents.

Please refer to the grammar problems in your essay. You need to brush up on your singular v. plural lessons (thousands of article = thousands of articleS). Vocabulary resources (babies do not play video games, children do) should also be built up on your end. Word familiarization is a must for you as well. Improper word usage (their lovely child, their babies ). When not referring to a series of related words, you should use the word and rather than a comma. You need at least 3 related words to use a comma. Two related words, use conjunction "and" instead. There are several other grammar problems with your essay but I cannot advise you on how to correct it without rewriting the whole essay, which is against forum regulations. However, my suggestions should get you started on identifying your problem areas. By the way, you have to separate this presentation into 3 paragraphs to show the separation of thought presentations. The phrase "according to my opinion" is incorrect as "according to" refers to information gained from someone else, since you are stating the opinion, you do not need to use that reference phrase.

Thanks a lot Mr.Holt, I'll notice.